Damned with faint praise and praised with faint damns

I've told people about my plans to write a book and peoples reactions have been really odd, a couple of friends just totally ignored me, there wasn't even time for the tumble weed to start blowing across the hole that my disclosure had dropped into. Another friend has tried telling me what to write and finding bit and piece of information for me to include, none of which are relelvant to what I'm writing about. My Mum, son and step son are the only ones who have been encouraging, I don't get the negativity? Is it because I'm a working class older woman? Do they think I'm getting above my station in life and that people like me shouldn't do things like write, or would they be OK with me writing fiction rather than non fiction?

I didn't expect rounds of applause and street parties, but the lack of response is quite deafening, some who have responded have been very half hearted and I feel their responses match the thread title. Maybe because I'm doing it for pleasure rather than with any expectation of publication, people feel it's unimportant and not worth a comment.

Does this resonate with anyone else? I feel like theres some borderline hostility going on and it's really confusing me.

Parents
  • Hey Catwoman! 

    Sometimes we just need to breath out the negative and breath in the hope and aspirations!

    May sound a tad corny but I am what would be considered working class. I also dropped out of college at 17 and don't really have any formal qualifications per say...

    However, in a few different organisations and for well over 10 years I did a lot of charity work - I ended up being able to speak in a couple of Parliaments and with no formal qualifications ended up as a communication director for a while! You never know where you life with lead you! At the start of all my journeys I have always faced criticism and negativity. 

    Often, because of my struggles I found myself working much harder than anyone else, but it also brought some positives. I can be quite obsessive at times and when I focus on something it is (really) hard for me to let go, relax or do anything else when I am in the middle of something. Plus I can get quite frustrated when things don't go my way (just showing it is not always easy...) but often the only time I am really happy is when I am really focusing in something...

    Writing can be really therapeutic and allow you to express yourself. If you don't mind me saying, try not to focus your attention on the reaction but rather what you are working on - things come in ebb and flows. Sometimes inspiration hits regularly and others it comes in drabs and pauses - keep going, you never know where it will lead you :)

    I also saw a YouTube video a few days ago, from someone with Asperger's, who spoke about feeling frustrated when they felt like they were not being heard. It hit me like a ton of bricks I can tell you. I resonated with it a lot. Some of the things he shared really hit home to me, and it sounds a bit like that...

    I am very new to this community, and accepting that I am autistic in general. One thing I have been pondering is how and to what extent I really think differently from others - I actually don't know the answer! But I think it is OK to think differently and try different things - if you sense you should or could be writing more I say do it! What do you have to loose? At worst it will be a new experience and you may end up really liking what you write Slight smile

  • I'm not expecting any financial profit at all and I'm not upset exactly, I'm disapointed and a bit bemused. Other people are weird, especially NT's.

    Thinking differently from others is what us autists do, it's why we're always in the awkward squad, get told off at school for pointing out how ridiculous what we're being taught is and not understanding why nobody else questions it.

    My thinking is, somebody writes books, why not me, it's not like I haven't read enough on he subjects I'm writing about.

    One of the things I want to thank you people for, is your support, for agreeing with me about why not me?

  • Honestly acknowledging that I think differently to others is still quite new for me! For a long time I often struggled and put myself under pressure (and experienced a lot of pain) because I have always felt the need to try so hard...

    I really feel that one of the best things we can do is be true to ourselves.

    Writing, especially if we are deeply connected to a subject is a great idea - when you are ready I would really encourage you to consider online publication of nothing else Slight smile

    I have quite an obsession with routine and planning, and for me having some form of end goal is very helpful. Unfortunately I also struggle with when I get pulled into a subject or theme I also really struggle to put things down until I have finished. So I am trying to be more aware that this is probably not the best trait! As it is quite all consuming, tiring and exhaustive - so may not be good for everyone...

    I hope the book goes well and would love to have a read whenever you are ready.

    Hope you have a great day :)

Reply
  • Honestly acknowledging that I think differently to others is still quite new for me! For a long time I often struggled and put myself under pressure (and experienced a lot of pain) because I have always felt the need to try so hard...

    I really feel that one of the best things we can do is be true to ourselves.

    Writing, especially if we are deeply connected to a subject is a great idea - when you are ready I would really encourage you to consider online publication of nothing else Slight smile

    I have quite an obsession with routine and planning, and for me having some form of end goal is very helpful. Unfortunately I also struggle with when I get pulled into a subject or theme I also really struggle to put things down until I have finished. So I am trying to be more aware that this is probably not the best trait! As it is quite all consuming, tiring and exhaustive - so may not be good for everyone...

    I hope the book goes well and would love to have a read whenever you are ready.

    Hope you have a great day :)

Children
  • It will be non fiction, I can't write fiction to save my life!

    I'm not at all goal orrientated, over the years this has given me a load of trouble, people expect goal orrientation and the level of competitiveness that seems to go with it. I do things because I want too, because I'm interested and allow my interests and ideas to grow organically. I rememver having quite a spat with my special needs tutor at uni because I really didn't care if I got a 1st or a 3rd, she thought I'd get a sense of achievement if I got a first, I couldn't really get it through to her that a sense of achievement is something I've very rarely experienced and I'm just learning now to start being pleased with things I've done and that people aren't going to take it away from me. I learnt over the years not to have any attatchment to things, projects, possessions or anything really, because it seems like a magnet for others snatch them away from me. It's good not to have undue attatchments from a spiritual perspective, conversations with Bhuddists have been interesting, because I seem to just do naturally what they struggle with, but it's very hard to have any sense of ownership of things or ideas.

    I think people think that because I'm not competitive or goal orrientated that I don't care, that I'm not capable  of caring.

    I'm interested that others think I should consider publication and are encouraging me to do it. I wouldn't know where to begin? To be honest the idea of publication scares me, all the childhood memories of being told not to make an exhibition of myself, who do I think I am? AS well as the ears of it being taken away from me and made to fit other peoples expectations of how it should be, if I came under that sort of pressure I would just walk away, I've done this sort of thing before, people have accused me of inflexibility and of being precious, whereas I think, you don't get to change the goal posts like that.