Damned with faint praise and praised with faint damns

I've told people about my plans to write a book and peoples reactions have been really odd, a couple of friends just totally ignored me, there wasn't even time for the tumble weed to start blowing across the hole that my disclosure had dropped into. Another friend has tried telling me what to write and finding bit and piece of information for me to include, none of which are relelvant to what I'm writing about. My Mum, son and step son are the only ones who have been encouraging, I don't get the negativity? Is it because I'm a working class older woman? Do they think I'm getting above my station in life and that people like me shouldn't do things like write, or would they be OK with me writing fiction rather than non fiction?

I didn't expect rounds of applause and street parties, but the lack of response is quite deafening, some who have responded have been very half hearted and I feel their responses match the thread title. Maybe because I'm doing it for pleasure rather than with any expectation of publication, people feel it's unimportant and not worth a comment.

Does this resonate with anyone else? I feel like theres some borderline hostility going on and it's really confusing me.

Parents
  • Hey Catwoman! 

    Sometimes we just need to breath out the negative and breath in the hope and aspirations!

    May sound a tad corny but I am what would be considered working class. I also dropped out of college at 17 and don't really have any formal qualifications per say...

    However, in a few different organisations and for well over 10 years I did a lot of charity work - I ended up being able to speak in a couple of Parliaments and with no formal qualifications ended up as a communication director for a while! You never know where you life with lead you! At the start of all my journeys I have always faced criticism and negativity. 

    Often, because of my struggles I found myself working much harder than anyone else, but it also brought some positives. I can be quite obsessive at times and when I focus on something it is (really) hard for me to let go, relax or do anything else when I am in the middle of something. Plus I can get quite frustrated when things don't go my way (just showing it is not always easy...) but often the only time I am really happy is when I am really focusing in something...

    Writing can be really therapeutic and allow you to express yourself. If you don't mind me saying, try not to focus your attention on the reaction but rather what you are working on - things come in ebb and flows. Sometimes inspiration hits regularly and others it comes in drabs and pauses - keep going, you never know where it will lead you :)

    I also saw a YouTube video a few days ago, from someone with Asperger's, who spoke about feeling frustrated when they felt like they were not being heard. It hit me like a ton of bricks I can tell you. I resonated with it a lot. Some of the things he shared really hit home to me, and it sounds a bit like that...

    I am very new to this community, and accepting that I am autistic in general. One thing I have been pondering is how and to what extent I really think differently from others - I actually don't know the answer! But I think it is OK to think differently and try different things - if you sense you should or could be writing more I say do it! What do you have to loose? At worst it will be a new experience and you may end up really liking what you write Slight smile

  • I want to write partly because I miss formal study, I loved uni and didn't want it to end, so the book idea is a way to keep up my interest, researching the answers to questions, finding new questions, interogating questions etc.

    My book is about some of the things that get glossed over in normal history books on the late Roman and Anglo Saxon and Norse periods, the section I'm researching now is why we know/hear so little about the Christianity of the Romano British and why they didn't try and convert the Anglo-Saxons. The information is there and I'm slowly untangling some and it's fascinating, or it is to me any way, I know for those not interested in that period of history would find it yawn worthy.

    I'm not planing on publication, it's expensive to do privately and I haven't got the patience to go touting around agents who rarely read random manuscripts they're sent anyway., I will email it to anyone interested when its finished.

    The friend who kept finding me bits and pieces to include wasn't being helpful, he was being a bit controlling and hadn't listened to what I said about what I want to write about, we taked about it last night and he poo poo-ed it, looked it up on wikipedia and found that I was right and has now decided it might be interesting.

    I'm not letting the negativity stop me from doing what I want to do, I can be quite intransigent when I want to be, which is actually most of the time. It would just be nice to have a little more interest from those around me and not have back of an envelope calculations shoved at me to show why what I want to do is to expensive, to time consuming  and stuff like that. This is a long running issue through my life, people telling me all the things I can't do, when actually what they mean is they can't do them. Why can't i do a load of different things, even if they are all different?

  • Yeah ignore the nah sayers Slight smile

    I Have been writing poetry recently when I am struggling or down - it has been quite effective at helping me to relax, if only by focusing on something else.

    You could always consider publishing online, at least that way it is outthere in the stratosphere so to speak...

    The topic sounds interesting too - might not be to everyone's taste but what is it they say about please inhaler people all the time... so I never try to.

    It can be really frustrating when people try and take over, especially when they know (or appear to) less than you. That really gets me and was a challenge I often encountered when I did more charity work - not sure what the remedy is tbh, though I am sure it helps to talk about it and let it out...

    I gave realised something recently that I have started to suffer more explosions rather than implosions when being frustrated. Which is something I want to reverse - I can be extremely direct and articulate at times, which often leaves me feeling awkward, bad and a little like wanting to hide away...

    Although it has never been a key focus (as when I start doing something I can be so single minded it is literally hard for me to think about anything else until I have finished something It can be satisfying when you prove people wrong in the end...

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  • Yeah ignore the nah sayers Slight smile

    I Have been writing poetry recently when I am struggling or down - it has been quite effective at helping me to relax, if only by focusing on something else.

    You could always consider publishing online, at least that way it is outthere in the stratosphere so to speak...

    The topic sounds interesting too - might not be to everyone's taste but what is it they say about please inhaler people all the time... so I never try to.

    It can be really frustrating when people try and take over, especially when they know (or appear to) less than you. That really gets me and was a challenge I often encountered when I did more charity work - not sure what the remedy is tbh, though I am sure it helps to talk about it and let it out...

    I gave realised something recently that I have started to suffer more explosions rather than implosions when being frustrated. Which is something I want to reverse - I can be extremely direct and articulate at times, which often leaves me feeling awkward, bad and a little like wanting to hide away...

    Although it has never been a key focus (as when I start doing something I can be so single minded it is literally hard for me to think about anything else until I have finished something It can be satisfying when you prove people wrong in the end...

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