Identity

Just a random thought, I also dwell on the odd forum on Reddit and other places and there often crops up the thread of identity.

When you look in the mirror who do you see or when someone calls your name, do you instantly connect with it?

Personally I dislike seeing my reflection and actively avoid having my photo taken. My name was obviously given to me by my parents but I feel oddly disconnected from it.

From what I've read, this isn't overly unusual within the autistic community, have any of you experienced this to some degree?

Parents
  • Names are strange, though wonderful, things. Nothing intrinsically connects us to a name (nothing with a tangible tether to our corporeal being), apart from a consensus among those who gave the name (be it parent, guardian, or - if exercising a right to change it, or deciding that's what we'd have chosen anyway- ourselves) and the people who are then in your circle. I've always really liked my actual name (it's not Shardovan :-)) even at times when I've found not much else to like about me at all. So much so that some part of me almost wishes it was unique to me. And it's the name I'd have chosen even if I'd had a say. Of course, this name/me combination is itself unique, so.... fair. 

    As far as recognising myself, I think my autistic wiring was more responsible in the past (pre-'diagnosis') than I ever realised for the horror I felt at it. I think I was dysphoric for quite some time - convinced I was teh ugliest and stranges looking person on Earth. In reality, and it's taken a long time to really see it, I'm just what I am: no oil painting, but not quite scaring the horses either. I just am as I am, and I can feel more neutral about that even if a little disconnected from ever truly seeing what others must see in a  much more 'neutral'/objective way.  

Reply
  • Names are strange, though wonderful, things. Nothing intrinsically connects us to a name (nothing with a tangible tether to our corporeal being), apart from a consensus among those who gave the name (be it parent, guardian, or - if exercising a right to change it, or deciding that's what we'd have chosen anyway- ourselves) and the people who are then in your circle. I've always really liked my actual name (it's not Shardovan :-)) even at times when I've found not much else to like about me at all. So much so that some part of me almost wishes it was unique to me. And it's the name I'd have chosen even if I'd had a say. Of course, this name/me combination is itself unique, so.... fair. 

    As far as recognising myself, I think my autistic wiring was more responsible in the past (pre-'diagnosis') than I ever realised for the horror I felt at it. I think I was dysphoric for quite some time - convinced I was teh ugliest and stranges looking person on Earth. In reality, and it's taken a long time to really see it, I'm just what I am: no oil painting, but not quite scaring the horses either. I just am as I am, and I can feel more neutral about that even if a little disconnected from ever truly seeing what others must see in a  much more 'neutral'/objective way.  

Children
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