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Eating with other people

Deleted User

I just wondered how other people feel about this and thought it might be a good topic to discuss.  There are many factors,  aside from the sensory and communication aspects. I have come to realise as I get older, just how much it is a social thing over a refuelling thing.

Is eating a social occasion or a functional occasion for you? Or a bit of both, or context dependant? I'm not talking just about dining out or special occasions but, for example, eating lunch with colleagues etc.

I was going to post more but I'd like to see what others say first

Parents

  • It's more social than refuelling for me as well When we sit around the table I find it stressful. My family talk and I never know what to say, it's like being the pink elephant in a room with grey elephants. I do sit and listen, try and figure out how they talk, how they keep the conversation going in the vain hope I'll learn how to do it too.

    But it's hard as well because then my thoughts race in my head and it's like I'm standing in a busy shopping centre where the noise is so loud I can't distinguish what is being said and the thoughts race past. At the same time I have to focus on eating as well and that's hard because I constantly analyse every little thing including the food.

    Eating on my own is better as I don't need to worry about making conversation but I prefer eating with my family as it equals social contact even if I don't say anything at least I am with them and interacting.

    I am hopeful someday I will reach a stage where I can actually be a part of the conversation.

  • in reply to April
    April said:
    My family talk and I never know what to say

    The trick is to let them do the talking by making a note of what is new for them, what is going on in their lives or what is their special interest and ask an open ended question relating to that.

    This way:

    1 - they think you are paying attention to them, it gets you bonus points.

    2 - gives them a chance to fill the time with their thoughts, opinions etc

    3 - if they ask you something back then you can chew a mouthfull of food for a while and if the conversation has not already moved on by the time you are ready to answer, you have just bought 20 seconds to think of an answer.

    Keep the questions from you open ended so they can feel you are interested and want to hear from them - hopefully other family members will want to get a word in edgeways and will take the conversation down a different route.

    That is my technique anyway - works a charm.

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  • in reply to April
    April said:
    My family talk and I never know what to say

    The trick is to let them do the talking by making a note of what is new for them, what is going on in their lives or what is their special interest and ask an open ended question relating to that.

    This way:

    1 - they think you are paying attention to them, it gets you bonus points.

    2 - gives them a chance to fill the time with their thoughts, opinions etc

    3 - if they ask you something back then you can chew a mouthfull of food for a while and if the conversation has not already moved on by the time you are ready to answer, you have just bought 20 seconds to think of an answer.

    Keep the questions from you open ended so they can feel you are interested and want to hear from them - hopefully other family members will want to get a word in edgeways and will take the conversation down a different route.

    That is my technique anyway - works a charm.

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