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Romance

Autistic Not Alien

What are your thoughts about romance? I think that romance is like communication - it's a two-way street. Autistic people get blamed for ‘hindering’ or ‘damaging’, but there is such a thing as a double empathy problem.

I've posted a short video about romance on my YouTube channel - or rather, it's my response to someone else's video about romance and autism.

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  • My thought is that as autists, we have strengths we can offer in romance, and weaknesses we have to make up for. The key weakness is that intimacy doesn't tend to come naturally to us. I don't just mean bedroom stuff. We have to put in a more conscious effort to make sure our partner feels loved and cared for.

    But our strength is that when we care about someone, we can channel that classic obsessive behaviour into that person and find ourselves very comfortable with making fulfilling that person's needs a conscious part of our daily existence. At least, that's how I found it in my last romantic experience.

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  • My thought is that as autists, we have strengths we can offer in romance, and weaknesses we have to make up for. The key weakness is that intimacy doesn't tend to come naturally to us. I don't just mean bedroom stuff. We have to put in a more conscious effort to make sure our partner feels loved and cared for.

    But our strength is that when we care about someone, we can channel that classic obsessive behaviour into that person and find ourselves very comfortable with making fulfilling that person's needs a conscious part of our daily existence. At least, that's how I found it in my last romantic experience.

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