Romance

Autistic Not Alien said:

What are your thoughts about romance?

It is largely a societal construct where the rules evolve over time and knowing what the other party to the relationship is wanting is incredibly hard.

I find it much more effective to be polite, kind and thoughtful and have a range of gestures to call on, eg:

When you go to visit them, always take a small gift, even if it is something small like fresh fruit, flowers they may have mentioned they like or their favourite snack. Listening to them and making notes on their favourite author / artist / actor helps here.

Make an effort to remember things that are important to them. Use your mobile phones calendar and note taking function to do this when out of their presence so it seems less mechanical to them - the mystique is an important part for many NTs

Ask how they are and how they feel - but not too often. This one is hard to judge but observing when their behaviour changes can be important.

Offer praise for the little things - how they dressed if they look a bit different to normal, if they have changed their hair or have a new accessory - tell them it looks great, suits them, that they have good taste etc. Keep it simple and sincere. It relies on you paying attention to them.

Overall much of this relies on us stopping being so self centered (a very common autistic trait) and focussing on the partner, paying attention and remembering the small stuff.

Some useful tips here, I think. Interesting comment about autistic people tending to be self-centred. What do other people think about that?

Some useful tips here, I think. Interesting comment about autistic people tending to be self-centred. What do other people think about that?