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When everything gets too much

Take5

Not really sure what I’m asking for here but just wanted to say that I’m struggling with pretty much everything right now. Making it to 49 without knowledge of the possibility of being neurodivergent accept for thinking I was different and that everyone must have struggled like I did.

I have been up and down constantly all my life from as young as I can remember, tried to avoid many situations and preferred to be alone as it was the only place I felt safe. Part of me wishes I had never found out as I feel so much worse sometimes than I did before I knew. 

I have a job as a self employed tradesman which keeps me on my own and that’s ideal for me. 

My wife seems to hate me and I don’t know why, I very often suffer verbally most days. I’m told I’m too sensitive, too defensive, emotionless and expressionless. We will be parting ways in the near future which has been a long time coming really. 

My main focus has been on our children as my partner works long hours in a pressured environment so much of the school runs, kids clubs and keeping on top of things at home have naturally fell to me. My youngest son is autistic and he just got through the assessment process, it’s been a very tough year or so for that little fellow and I have tried my best to be a support to him in every way. I have battled with the school, taken him to weekly therapy sessions in another county for over a year and recorded every day ever since we suspected he was autistic. 

I had a complete meltdown yesterday and luckily the property is empty, I shut myself in a room and sobbed. This was because I was asked to do another job while I was focused on my current one.

I am terrified of what the future might look like for me atm.

I have too many things going round in my head, it’s like a huge to do list that never gets any shorter. 

Thank you for reading 

Parents

  • Hello,

    I'm sorry you're struggling and I wish I could help you through this. I'm not married but I was a dad, had a lovely little girl. I understand how stressful it can be trying to balance your own life whilst trying to look after your child. It's such a challenge but though you might not see it I think you're doing brilliant mate! You're going through an incredibly challenging time and it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed during all this but you are there for your son and have taken on so much responsibility at home, especially given your own challenges.

    Ultimate respect to you!

    You don’t have to face all of this alone, sharing your feelings can often lighten the burden. We are all here for you when you need a friend to talk to. I hope things improve for you soon. Got to get through the rain to reach the rainbow. You'll get there! Take things one step at a time. It’s ok to have bad days, meltdowns and feel down; what matters is that you are trying your best.

    Take care keeping you in my thoughts.

Reply

  • Hello,

    I'm sorry you're struggling and I wish I could help you through this. I'm not married but I was a dad, had a lovely little girl. I understand how stressful it can be trying to balance your own life whilst trying to look after your child. It's such a challenge but though you might not see it I think you're doing brilliant mate! You're going through an incredibly challenging time and it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed during all this but you are there for your son and have taken on so much responsibility at home, especially given your own challenges.

    Ultimate respect to you!

    You don’t have to face all of this alone, sharing your feelings can often lighten the burden. We are all here for you when you need a friend to talk to. I hope things improve for you soon. Got to get through the rain to reach the rainbow. You'll get there! Take things one step at a time. It’s ok to have bad days, meltdowns and feel down; what matters is that you are trying your best.

    Take care keeping you in my thoughts.

Children