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Should I live with my parents?

Lost0ne87
Hello I'am 26 years old with Asperger's, I used to live with my parents but i wanted to move out due to not getting along with my parents which was my fault. I was suffering with depression and still do. I do take medication which helps. I have lived away for about 3 years and i need support worker to help me do daily tasks like shopping and bill keeping. I am not severely disabled or anything like that but i do struggle with socializing, which is harder for me to find a job. With the cut backs happening I fear I will struggle a bit, finding a job will be hard (how hard i have not a clue) 

I'm thinking about the pros and the cons with living with my parents. 

Pros: 
*I can spend more time with my pets as i really like animals and cant keep any where i live as its rented. 
*Spend more time with my parents. 
*Much more freedom where they live as they have a pretty good sized garden and plus a allotments at the back. As my garden is only a small slab Smile 
*Financially help my mum and dad a little with bills (wouldn't take much gas and electric myself) and shopping.
*Help my mum with some furniture as some of hers seen there days. 
*My mum and dad are very understanding. 

Cons: 
*I can be a bit hard to deal with at times 
*My dad has personal issues which can be hard to cope with at times, especially at weekends Smile
*Not much freedom when it comes to playing my music at night, time get the headphones out.
*Seems a bit silly but the place is freezing during the colder times 

What are you're opinions, also would i and my mum be fianancaly better of or worse?? 
I hope what I typed makes sense as my English is pretty poor.
Thanks. Cool
Parents

  • Hi LostOne87,

    A few more questions to consider:

    • do you parents want you back?
    • where do you see yourself living further into the future (when your parents pass away)?
    • could you move somewhere else that still left your independence but ticked some of the 'pro' boxes but without living with your parents? Such as living somewhere with access to an allotment or garden, nearer to you parents, somewhere you could have pets.

    I don't how I would manage living on my own (I live with my partner). I sometimes think that if I could afford it I would be much happier living alone but still share my lif with my partner - but that is just not an option.

    The way to make it work for both of us is to try and accomadate as many of our needs as possible. I really need my own space so I have a (very) small studio where I can just switch off and put my headphones on and make music and go on the internet. I get stressed if my parner leaves stuff lying around the house so I therefore have to  ake sure there is a place to actually put alll the stuff.

    I wonder if there were things that you and your parents could do to make living together easier?

    I don't really believe that anyone should have to move out of home because they have to 'stand on their own two feet' although I do feel that there is some pressure from society as a whole to do this.

    If living at home is the happiest option then I think it is the right thing to do.

    Looking to the long term though i also think that trying to develop some social connections (and support) aside from the parents. that is not to say i am doing this though - especially the last few years I have really struggled (or been motivated) to make any social connections.

    I have thought about what it would be like to move back to my parents but I don't think it would be very good for me or them. I can imagine though that if I was not with my partner it might be a necessity - admitting that to myself doesn't make me feel so good but I judt don't think I could cope financially or socially.

    What are the Pros and cons of living where you are now?

    :)

Reply

  • Hi LostOne87,

    A few more questions to consider:

    • do you parents want you back?
    • where do you see yourself living further into the future (when your parents pass away)?
    • could you move somewhere else that still left your independence but ticked some of the 'pro' boxes but without living with your parents? Such as living somewhere with access to an allotment or garden, nearer to you parents, somewhere you could have pets.

    I don't how I would manage living on my own (I live with my partner). I sometimes think that if I could afford it I would be much happier living alone but still share my lif with my partner - but that is just not an option.

    The way to make it work for both of us is to try and accomadate as many of our needs as possible. I really need my own space so I have a (very) small studio where I can just switch off and put my headphones on and make music and go on the internet. I get stressed if my parner leaves stuff lying around the house so I therefore have to  ake sure there is a place to actually put alll the stuff.

    I wonder if there were things that you and your parents could do to make living together easier?

    I don't really believe that anyone should have to move out of home because they have to 'stand on their own two feet' although I do feel that there is some pressure from society as a whole to do this.

    If living at home is the happiest option then I think it is the right thing to do.

    Looking to the long term though i also think that trying to develop some social connections (and support) aside from the parents. that is not to say i am doing this though - especially the last few years I have really struggled (or been motivated) to make any social connections.

    I have thought about what it would be like to move back to my parents but I don't think it would be very good for me or them. I can imagine though that if I was not with my partner it might be a necessity - admitting that to myself doesn't make me feel so good but I judt don't think I could cope financially or socially.

    What are the Pros and cons of living where you are now?

    :)

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