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club politics

Hotel california

Not sure how to handle this one, so advice needed.

My son is an active member of his local sports club.  Recently the club ran elections for various roles and he decided to run for junior fund  raiser.  He was pretty confident he would get the role as his competitors did not appear to have the same level of backing.  Unfortunately he did not get the post.  But he won't leave it at that.  Having spoken to other club members he has worked out that if they are telling the truth he would have won by a landslide. Even the senior members say they don't understand what happened and he should have won.

So now he believes that a) those that said they voted for him lied or b) he did get enough votes but the club did not feel he was right for job, possibly because he has asc.

He wants to get to the bottom off this, but I know that if either or both off these are true, he will be devastated and he may leave the club and his trust in people will hit an all time low.

Any suggestions on how to deal with this.

Parents

  • I seem to have got fairly used to knocks like this....still hurts,....but its a fact of life. The AS tendencies seem to bar me from a lot of opportunities.

    But look at the underlying factors - being able to fit in, being one of the lads, other people knowing you'll react in a critical decision in a predictable way that suits them, they want someone who isn't a threat, won't make a fuss about a little foul play.

    I think too when people say you should have got the position, its a form of NT white lying. They are offering an empty consolation.

    But even for NTs this happens a lot. A bloke gets the job when a woman should have got it. She got the job over better blokes - must be she's shapely. How often have you heard that?  Look how many jobs go to those from the right public school - like the Cabinet of the current government - most people have noticed it isn't a cabinet friendly to comprehensive school boys or women. Truly not fair, but what goes on.

    I think in practice it has to be about doing what you think best, and being diligent, but having to accept you'll invariably get missed out, get overlooked, get rebuffed as a matter of course.

    So I think it is better for Hotel california's son to do nothing about it, get over it, carry on doing a good job in the club. He'll get respect, just it wont be one of the jobs for the boys.

Reply

  • I seem to have got fairly used to knocks like this....still hurts,....but its a fact of life. The AS tendencies seem to bar me from a lot of opportunities.

    But look at the underlying factors - being able to fit in, being one of the lads, other people knowing you'll react in a critical decision in a predictable way that suits them, they want someone who isn't a threat, won't make a fuss about a little foul play.

    I think too when people say you should have got the position, its a form of NT white lying. They are offering an empty consolation.

    But even for NTs this happens a lot. A bloke gets the job when a woman should have got it. She got the job over better blokes - must be she's shapely. How often have you heard that?  Look how many jobs go to those from the right public school - like the Cabinet of the current government - most people have noticed it isn't a cabinet friendly to comprehensive school boys or women. Truly not fair, but what goes on.

    I think in practice it has to be about doing what you think best, and being diligent, but having to accept you'll invariably get missed out, get overlooked, get rebuffed as a matter of course.

    So I think it is better for Hotel california's son to do nothing about it, get over it, carry on doing a good job in the club. He'll get respect, just it wont be one of the jobs for the boys.

Children
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