Published on 12, July, 2020
Is it possible to live with so much love for others and yet so much hate for yourself?
My faith ensures my love for others but that same faith cannot help me to love myself. On the contrary, I feel like I hate myself and wish I didn't exist. Strange isn't it, how so much love and so much hate can emanate from the same heart.
God says live, so I live. Why can't I love myself the way He loves me? Why do I have so much hatred inside me, alongside so much love that I just can't express? I'll explode one day, I'm pretty sure I will.
Hi, I have enjoyed reading your thoughts on your faith in this forum. I had similar thoughts recently regards the duality of beuaty/versus pain existing in one body. The beauty of the Holy Spirit and then pain from my own physical body. i don't know your journey and what has brought you to where you are today. I think many people who do have a faith can become quite critical of themselves trying to measure to the requirements of their faith and confronting sin. Saint John of the Cross used to declare himsef as a big sinner when he clearly wasn't.
I wrote my testimony on my faith which I linked to on this forum.. I think it speaks to those who are neurodiverse or disabiled physically or mentally.. With your inner battle I thought I would mention it
.racheltestimony.blogspot.com/
I wish you the best
Thank you Rachel.