Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I'm new to this site. I saw a notice about the National Autistic Society at my school, so decided to further check out their site and stumbled across this community. This has all happened at the right time as I'm struggling at the moment.
My parents are throwing a party and I'm struggling with this because I'm a social train wreck. And at parties there's always loud music and it lasts for hours. I speak from experience here of my parents past parties.
Last time there was a party I set my tent up at the bottom of the garden and camped it out. Amazing experience! If you haven't camped then definitely try it...you won't regret it! I love camping, being out near nature. Even in my garden it's surprising how much nature is around.
I would go camping this time but my tent got sold last year. It was an accident apparently but I have a suspicion my mum did it intentionally so I can't escape the party...she thinks I can overcome all my autistic difficulties if I face them with a positive I can do it attitude.
If it was dry I'd just sleep outside anyway. Nothing better than sleeping under a starry sky. I used to do this with my Gramps before he died. But it's pouring down all day today.
I'll shut myself in my room but there will be the loud music and family invited to the party just barge in my room and start talking to me. It's literally the worst it really is. It's only a night and I know I probably sound the biggest moaner ever but it's really hard for me to get through things like this.
I'd love to be able to enjoy parties and talk with my family without getting intensely anxious but sadly I don't ever see that being a possibility for me.
I need a tent or a lock for my door.
You have my sympathy, Ninj.
On the one hand - I do need a push to do things. Many of the wonderful things that I have done, I wouldn't have done of my own accord.
But...
I hope that your parents come to an understanding of what your autism means to you and that at some point things get so overwhelming that you genuinely do need to opt out when it gets too much.
I'm 50+ and the thought of a big party in my house is hyper stressful, so having one when you don't have any say in the matter must be even more stressful.
I don't have a magic wand, but maybe you could suggest to your parents that you will join in as best you can for as long as you can, but when you go to your room, please can you then be left alone. Almost like a deal. You will genuinely try your best, but then they should respect you retiring to your room when it has all got to be too much. Get some noise cancelling headphones!
Good luck
A halfway deal. Yep that's a good plan thanks for the suggestion.
I've discussed it with my dad and he agrees that's a neat idea. My mum probably won't but so long as I get the Aokay from dad I'll be allowed to do it. He doesn't completely understand my autism and how it affects my day to day life but he does at least try
️I don't have any noise cancelling headphones but I'm hoping to get some soon.
I survive with ear plugs which aren't exactly good but they do help a bit.
Thanks for your help.