Published on 12, July, 2020
I remember being a 16 year old boy. So young and naive and thought the world was all rainbows and anything was possible. Definitely didn’t think things would turn out how they have now. I remember being a boy and going out for my first alcoholic drinks with my friends. Drinking frosty jacks cider when it used to cost £3 per bottle. It would get you so drunk you wouldn’t remember what happened but all you knew was that it was fun somehow. Smoking Berkeley king size and players super kings. Don’t think they even make these cigarettes anymore but that was when they used to be £2.90 a pack. Now the cheapest pack of ciggies go for about £12. So many memories of how I thought life would turn out for me. I imagined it being so much better than it actually is. Thought I would have met someone by now. We used to get so drunk that we would play fight and chase each other etc. At least I never had a sheltered life. I guess the autism diagnosis can become a bit of a self limiting identification for some people. Some people go to special school and live a very sheltered life not experiencing the chaos of mainstream school like I did. I think that’s why I rejected my autism diagnosis when I was 14 because I wanted to stay at mainstream school. I wanted to be normal and didn’t want extra support. I guess I didn’t need it either. Life’s like a box of cigarettes. You just don’t know where the next cigarette will take you.
Aw that’s such a nice reply. You’re very kind and understanding! You have never had a boyfriend but believe me you deserve one. You just need to trust. I am 24 now but have never met a girl either. Just want to meet the right one that’s all. That’s such a shame that you couldn’t continue college because of your anxiety. You deserve to enjoy things like others do. I believe you will get there eventually. Just make the most of every moment and be your best self. If you need to chat or anything you can private message me x
It sounds like you have been through a lot and have experienced a range of emotions and challenges in your life. Reflecting on our past can bring up many memories, both good and bad. It's interesting how our perceptions and expectations of life can change as we grow older and gain new experiences. It's ok to have moments of nostalgia and to wonder about the paths we didn't take. I spend a lot of time wondering this with my own life and choices, where I'd be now if I'd done something different.
I'm 18 now, and my life isn't what I thought it would be. Growing up I had so many dreams and ideas. I'm happy with my life but I thought by 18 I would have a boyfriend, friends, be driving and be at college. None of that's happened yet. College almost did but I wasn't able to continue with it because of my anxiety.
I try not to just focus on the things I haven't got in my life though. I look at the positives too like I live in a lovely area up a mountain, I've got my dad. I've got my health. I'm happy, enjoy being creative. All good things are worth waiting for and I'm hoping the things I don't have yet will come to me in time.
I just try to enjoy life and embrace myself. It isn't always easy but embracing who we are and where we've been can help shape where we're going. Keep moving forward and remember that life is full of unexpected twists and turns. You are who you are now and you've got this far. That's something to be proud of.