Published on 12, July, 2020
I was diagnosed Autistic 3 weeks ago and I’ve only told a handful of people, I’ve put off telling my parents because I thought they wouldn’t believe me and I was right. Today my dad came to my house and we were on about secrets and as you autistic people know, we can’t lie, so I told him I had a secret and so he badgered me to tell him and I said I wanted to tell him and my mum together, but he kept pushing me and in the end I told him, he asked me what made me autistic and I explained about my social awkwardness and he just said that I was quiet. He didn’t stay much after that, which I thought was weird, would have thought he’d want to ask me lots of questions, as he was leaving he looked at my pots that were piled up and said, I guess you are gonna use this as an excuse now for being messy. He left for home and I know he would have definitely told my mum and she hasn’t bothered to phone to discuss, which I’m not too happy about. This experience has made me doubt my diagnosis and has left me feeling flat
Maybe it’s the stigma or your parents lack of knowledge. Or both. My mom confirmed to me that I have all autistic traits (not that literally, but she said many times that I’m so special and different than others, not to her but generally, that I take everything literally, even my step dad when he says some joke he informs me that it’s a joke to avoid misunderstandings that are frequent with me, that I’m so sensitive especially to sounds and lights but not only, that I have fascinating inner world etc.) when I suggested that maybe I’m autistic she said no! There is nothing wrong with me and I’m not defective. Her understanding of autism is probably deep extreme case of autism where there is no communication with the person and the person is constantly in tantrum. Well, I’m not gonna fight that. Me and my mom are very similar, with some differences. She is better at controlling her emotions. So if she accepts me as autistic, she would probably also have to accept herself same way. Often autism or other neurodivergent conditions run in our families and autistic parents don’t find their autistic children weird. Maybe that’s also the case in your family. Maybe your parents need time to process the information, or educate themselves.