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An issue relating to my Intense Interests

Eponine

Hi all,

I am slightly concerned about how intense my obsessions have been progressively getting over the past couple of years (I'm AS, by the way). Now they feel less like "intense interests" and more like, and this is the only way I am able to describe it, drug addictions with a physical component.

I write this now because my dad took me to see my favourite musical (which I am currently obsessed with) on Sunday night, and ever since we got in the car after it had finished I have been so depressed that I struggle to say anything without being on the verge of tears, I'm shaking, I'm short of breath, I'm exhausted and unable to concentrate on anything and I'm getting pangs of physical pain. The morning after, I couldn't get out of bed for crying and had to miss school. I feel lonelier than ever and my parents regret taking me because I now feel so terrible. It's worse than it has ever been but it has been getting progressively worse over more recent years. I was wondering if anyone had had similar "withdrawal symptoms" in relation to their intense interests in similar situations? And I know this isn't a professional medical website, but is this "normal" for AS?

Thank you for your time.

  • I experienced a similar reaction as a teenager when I finished an epic fantasy series. I cried. It is my belief that such reactions are definable as grief for something we have invested in and should be treated as such.

    Experts generally accept that there are four stages of bereavement: 

    • accepting that your loss is real
    • experiencing the pain of grief
    • adjusting to life without the person who has died 
    • putting less emotional energy into grieving and putting it into something new (in other words, moving on)

    You'll probably go through all these stages, but you won’t necessarily move smoothly from one to the next. Your grief might feel chaotic and out of control, but these feelings will eventually become less intense. Give yourself time, as they will pass.

  • I have the same problem, my intense interests can be so intense and obsessive its like an addiction and when I can't do it for any reason I feel so anxious and stressed. the worst is when it's something like a tv show which has been cancelled, i end up researching everything about it and looking on fanfiction websites to try to keep it going. it's a horrible feeling of intense anxiety I guess and I think because I prefer to be in my own world with my interests and when Im forced to come out and face the real world, its very stressful. It makes it hard to go to work even sometimes.

  • I haven't experienced anything this severe, but I do know the sort of thing you mean - its almost the opposite of looking forward to something - instead its a looking back and realising you've already "done" the good bit and a grief that its over. Is that right?

    Maybe when you have big plans like going to see the musical, which you know you are really excited about, you could have a mini plan for shortly afterwards?  Like you could dedicate an evening to listening to the music from the show, a few days afterwards?  That would give you a smaller step down from huge (seeing the show) to nothing - it puts something in the middle which is medium sized (listening to the music) so you have two smaller step downs. 

    This is exactly the reason I don't like going on holiday from work, because the disappointment of having to come back again is the permanent state in which I find myself when I come back, and all the excitement and experience of having time off is over by the return date.  It feels like the "after" is present for longer than the "before".

    Not sure if i'm making sense but it seemed similar to me.

  • I think we are more sensitive than the average person, we catastrophise more, and fixations can mean reliance on something you need to be in control of.  I haven't heard of these symptoms for an obsession but we are still all individual.