Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I hope it’s ok I post here. My son who just turned 8 has been assessed by a speech and language therapist and she thinks he may be on the autism spectrum, she told me I should think Asperger’s. He seems to struggle with sustaining friendships in the playground and doesn’t always seem to be aware of other people’s emotions and social cues. He can speak quite loudly, though not always, and copies a lot of phrases from language he’s heard elsewhere, i.e. from tv, books and audio books. He can get quite engrossed in hobbies, currently playing the guitar, but there is still plenty of room for other things like all sorts of sports, Lego, etc. so I wouldn’t necessarily call these an obsession.
Thing is, my son is the most easygoing child. Does not care for routine much at all, if anything changes last minute he’s cool with that and he’s just generally very adaptable. He also doesn’t have any repetitive behaviours or any sensory issues at all and is always happy to try new foods. He hit all his milestones fine when he was little and did enjoy imaginative play, at least he liked dressing up and performing.
I’m so torn over whether I should have him diagnosed. He’s so little and it seems like a really big deal. In my heart I don’t really think he is autistic. I read that for many parents the diagnosis was a relief or a confirmation of something they had long thought to be true. For us it’s the opposite. We have never felt our son showed unusual behaviours but after everything I’ve not read on Asperger’s/ASD I must admit he has more traits than I thought.
My question is: are his language issues enough reason to go down the route of diagnosis? Or does the absence of the other behavioural traits make it less likely he’s got ASD? I would love to hear other people’s advice and experience. Thank you for reading.
I’d also like to add that, above all, he’s a very happy child who doesn’t seem to be to bothered by any of these challenges. Also that he will receive language therapy regardless as he obviously needs support in that area.
Being autistic is not defined by struggling, I am sorry you think that way.
He can be a happy autistic child and this doesn’t make formal identification (diagnosis) any less important or necessary for him, he deserves to understand his neurology.
I am a happy autistic adult and it concerns me that in order to be autistic, people assume that one must be struggling or have challenges. We are neurologically different, it’s that simple! However I do understand where these beliefs stem from- namely outdated and harmful diagnostic criteria and the fact that many members of our community are only identified at crisis point.
I hope my response is helpful and makes you reconsider what being autistic actually means.
I really appreciate everyone’s comments. I hope I haven’t said anything that feels offensive to anyone. This is all very new to me and I’m still learning. Up until two weeks ago I knew pretty much nothing about autism. I’ve been reading so much about it now and I just feel very confused about my own child. I am also sorry for the struggles people say they have been through as a result of not being diagnosed. Of course I certainly don’t want that for him. I don’t mind putting a ‘label’ on my child if that gets him the help he needs. I think the best next step would be to speak to a therapist.
Caelus said:ah everyone thought i had learning difficulties, thats a boomer thing as they didnt know of all these mental conditions now.they had a private special needs teacher do a test on me at home though and she actually said im smarter than average kid my age and this totally threw everyone off and was the end of any attempt to help me or figure me out haha
Sorry assumptions were made about you.