Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I hope it’s ok I post here. My son who just turned 8 has been assessed by a speech and language therapist and she thinks he may be on the autism spectrum, she told me I should think Asperger’s. He seems to struggle with sustaining friendships in the playground and doesn’t always seem to be aware of other people’s emotions and social cues. He can speak quite loudly, though not always, and copies a lot of phrases from language he’s heard elsewhere, i.e. from tv, books and audio books. He can get quite engrossed in hobbies, currently playing the guitar, but there is still plenty of room for other things like all sorts of sports, Lego, etc. so I wouldn’t necessarily call these an obsession.
Thing is, my son is the most easygoing child. Does not care for routine much at all, if anything changes last minute he’s cool with that and he’s just generally very adaptable. He also doesn’t have any repetitive behaviours or any sensory issues at all and is always happy to try new foods. He hit all his milestones fine when he was little and did enjoy imaginative play, at least he liked dressing up and performing.
I’m so torn over whether I should have him diagnosed. He’s so little and it seems like a really big deal. In my heart I don’t really think he is autistic. I read that for many parents the diagnosis was a relief or a confirmation of something they had long thought to be true. For us it’s the opposite. We have never felt our son showed unusual behaviours but after everything I’ve not read on Asperger’s/ASD I must admit he has more traits than I thought.
My question is: are his language issues enough reason to go down the route of diagnosis? Or does the absence of the other behavioural traits make it less likely he’s got ASD? I would love to hear other people’s advice and experience. Thank you for reading.
it’s hard to say from just one description, but before the assessment there should be some appointment when the specialists assess if the person might be on the spectrum or not. You can also get advice from a therapist. There also a possibility, that he may have some other conditions, for example ADHD, many traits overlap between these two conditions, including difficulty reading social cues. what I remember from my childhood - I hated new foods, I was afraid of them. I was afraid of anything that was new. A school trip was nightmare for me due to sensory issues, bullies and change in the routine. I used to sit in the bus, cover my ears and cry silently and repeat in whisper “tomorrow everything will be back to normal , tomorrow we will have classes like always”. Changes like new semester, new schedule, new teacher, new subject were horrible for me, made me stiff, feel sick, shutdown. When it comes to interests I was fixated on trams, magnets and Barbie dolls, but I never played roles, I could sit hours with the doll in my hands and study the details of her face body and hair, setting up s dollhouse for her or sewing clothes for her. This is how I played. I want to emphasise that this is only my experience and there are many other people having different one. If you have any doubts about your son’s mental health I think it’s good to take it seriously and have it consulted, to ensure the best possible quality of life.
This is very helpful, thank you very much. I’m so sorry to hear you had to go through that in your youth. I will speak to our GP this week to discuss a pre assessment as you suggest.