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Socialising difficulties

Mason

Last Saturday I went away with some people for a friends 30th birthday and I was very apprehensive about it, I didn't know 3 out of 5 of the girls So I didn't know quite what to expect. ive been trying to make friends because I don't have any that live near me but they aren't very like me and they just like going out drinking which I really don't like at all. I decided to make an effort by going an putting up with it but I don't think it was a good idea, the other girls were very rude and I found them difficult to talk to. They wanted to play drinking games which I hate and I didn't play, so they probable didn't like me for that either. I'm light and sound sensitive so I dont like night clubs and I hate people constantly banging into me too and guys messing around and staring at us it makes me uncomfortable. I found them difficult to talk to, even more than usual because they wern't very intelligent at all and made silly unintelligible comments and asked questions which I would answer properly, but then I feel uncomfortable because I don't think they were meaning for me to actually answer them 'scientifically'. I guess we were very different people and they just didn't understand me.

ive no idea why we even went there because they didn't want to see anything of the place, I like the cultural things and going to museums and galleries and they really don't, they just like drinking and that's it. 

what do other people do about these socialising problems? I ended up getting very stressed and 'having a go' at one of my friends because they kept letting random drunk guys into our hotel room and I didn't like it. I don't know how she's taken it and whether she's offended by it or not. I'll have to wait and see the next time I have a shift with her.

Parents

  • Thank you Emu1973, yeah you're right about that and I do try to accept it! although sometimes I feel awkward and find it difficult to join in, most of the time I'm happy being who I am. In the past though I had friends who understood my quirky ways and differences, they didn't pressure me to go out at night and would think of daytime things for us to do. when I did go out with them, they didn't try to push me to drink more or to stay out longer than I wanted to, and when I would leave somewhere because of strobe lighting they seemed to understand. But it's so much harder with these friends because they aren't understanding about it at all, it makes it even more unpleasant for me and I'm only going there to try to be social. I'm trying to find an excuse to get out of the next night out, I'm dreading it already, I only go out every couple of months if that, but it's bad enough, that last time was the worst ever though!

    Micalop - I'm sorry to hear you're being bullied where you live. There's nothing wrong with being different anyway. Those people have a much bigger problem than you do. Try not to let them get you down, although I know that's easier said than done. I was bullied at my last job for being different and struggling with conversation and eye contact etc, but this job I seem to be more lucky with so far, they sometimes comment on me being quiet but they don't push it and they've never mentioned anything about me not making eye contact with people. I don't think anyone's taken offense anyway. well one person did when I didn't show sympathy or empathy at a problem, but I explained that I do care but I find it hard to express it. She seemed to be happy with the explanation and we get on well still. 

    I hope hope you find a way to sort your problem and not let them bother you.

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  • Thank you Emu1973, yeah you're right about that and I do try to accept it! although sometimes I feel awkward and find it difficult to join in, most of the time I'm happy being who I am. In the past though I had friends who understood my quirky ways and differences, they didn't pressure me to go out at night and would think of daytime things for us to do. when I did go out with them, they didn't try to push me to drink more or to stay out longer than I wanted to, and when I would leave somewhere because of strobe lighting they seemed to understand. But it's so much harder with these friends because they aren't understanding about it at all, it makes it even more unpleasant for me and I'm only going there to try to be social. I'm trying to find an excuse to get out of the next night out, I'm dreading it already, I only go out every couple of months if that, but it's bad enough, that last time was the worst ever though!

    Micalop - I'm sorry to hear you're being bullied where you live. There's nothing wrong with being different anyway. Those people have a much bigger problem than you do. Try not to let them get you down, although I know that's easier said than done. I was bullied at my last job for being different and struggling with conversation and eye contact etc, but this job I seem to be more lucky with so far, they sometimes comment on me being quiet but they don't push it and they've never mentioned anything about me not making eye contact with people. I don't think anyone's taken offense anyway. well one person did when I didn't show sympathy or empathy at a problem, but I explained that I do care but I find it hard to express it. She seemed to be happy with the explanation and we get on well still. 

    I hope hope you find a way to sort your problem and not let them bother you.

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