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Socialising difficulties

Mason

Last Saturday I went away with some people for a friends 30th birthday and I was very apprehensive about it, I didn't know 3 out of 5 of the girls So I didn't know quite what to expect. ive been trying to make friends because I don't have any that live near me but they aren't very like me and they just like going out drinking which I really don't like at all. I decided to make an effort by going an putting up with it but I don't think it was a good idea, the other girls were very rude and I found them difficult to talk to. They wanted to play drinking games which I hate and I didn't play, so they probable didn't like me for that either. I'm light and sound sensitive so I dont like night clubs and I hate people constantly banging into me too and guys messing around and staring at us it makes me uncomfortable. I found them difficult to talk to, even more than usual because they wern't very intelligent at all and made silly unintelligible comments and asked questions which I would answer properly, but then I feel uncomfortable because I don't think they were meaning for me to actually answer them 'scientifically'. I guess we were very different people and they just didn't understand me.

ive no idea why we even went there because they didn't want to see anything of the place, I like the cultural things and going to museums and galleries and they really don't, they just like drinking and that's it. 

what do other people do about these socialising problems? I ended up getting very stressed and 'having a go' at one of my friends because they kept letting random drunk guys into our hotel room and I didn't like it. I don't know how she's taken it and whether she's offended by it or not. I'll have to wait and see the next time I have a shift with her.

Parents

  • Are museums and galleries really "social" events? You are likely to get disapproving looks from others if your group talks too loudly or causes distraction. Its a quiet pursuit, usually for solitary contemplation.

    Music, theatre, dance - yes you can go with others but the social bit is likely to be in the interval and before and after, especially if a meal in a restaurant is part of it.

    You have to think what other things would this party going circle willingly go to with you. They might be adventurous about going to a wildlife park or zoo, public formal gardens or a park with some novel theme to it, fun park (rides). Trade those sorts of things with you occasionally going clubbing might help - museums and galleries maybe not social enough.

    Go to somewhere with performance art that allows social chat and drinking - like a wine bar with entertainment laid on - another option.

    Don't make the optional night out too different from their world and something might come about.

    The other option is to try some different night-life social scenes to see if you can get in with a new more ammenable crowd. The ones you've been going with lately seem a bit selfish and rude.

    For example 10-pin bowling - not my thing at all, but the crowd you find there will tend to go to lots of similar environments where you can laugh, chat, eat junk food etc while doing something. You might have to trade on doing things you less like but like more than being stuck in an unpleasant party you can't leave easily with people you don't really like.

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  • Are museums and galleries really "social" events? You are likely to get disapproving looks from others if your group talks too loudly or causes distraction. Its a quiet pursuit, usually for solitary contemplation.

    Music, theatre, dance - yes you can go with others but the social bit is likely to be in the interval and before and after, especially if a meal in a restaurant is part of it.

    You have to think what other things would this party going circle willingly go to with you. They might be adventurous about going to a wildlife park or zoo, public formal gardens or a park with some novel theme to it, fun park (rides). Trade those sorts of things with you occasionally going clubbing might help - museums and galleries maybe not social enough.

    Go to somewhere with performance art that allows social chat and drinking - like a wine bar with entertainment laid on - another option.

    Don't make the optional night out too different from their world and something might come about.

    The other option is to try some different night-life social scenes to see if you can get in with a new more ammenable crowd. The ones you've been going with lately seem a bit selfish and rude.

    For example 10-pin bowling - not my thing at all, but the crowd you find there will tend to go to lots of similar environments where you can laugh, chat, eat junk food etc while doing something. You might have to trade on doing things you less like but like more than being stuck in an unpleasant party you can't leave easily with people you don't really like.

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