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Helping a 4 year old socialise?

Rachael1980

Hi my 4 year old has just been diagnosed with autism.  I have been advised by his school that he is struggling to socialise with the other children and keeps pushing them away or hugging them roughly to try and engage with them which in turn leads to them pushing him away.  Has anyone experienced this before and how have you overcome this?

I think it may help if I get him used to meeting other children but am reluctant to take him to play centres as the other children and parents dont like it when he does the same thing there.  Can anyone suggest anywhere I could take him to meet other children? or should I just perservere with the play centre type places?

Thank you in Advance.

Rachael

  • How about taking him to an activity where physical contact is expected maybe junior Marshall arts clu  or some other club does he like dancing or gymnastics where he could take part? 

    My girl got over the huggy phaze with time eventually she got that people didn't want lots of cuddles I just told her that they wanted to play xyz instead fortunately she didn't get upset when they pushed her away.

  • Hi - It might be worth asking if any of the local play centres organise a special needs night?  It would perhaps give him the opportunity of socialising in a less judgemental environment.

  • For most children learning what to do when, while based on in-built mechanisms, is a learning curve. As has been demonstrated children know about inflexion in speech before they learn languge, hence the role of nonsense talk.

    If you are autistic you don't pick up enough of these social cues to be able to get enough information when and where a hug is appropriate.

    But one way of learning is immitation. if a hug seems the right thing to do then hug (assuming there are no sensory sensitivities in the way). Trouble is you need more than just imitation you need to spot the cues for when to imitate. In time that can be learned too, but I guess at 4 there is little can be done but try.

    Trouble is as you get more and more negative feedback, and get hurt more, the easiest way out of trouble is to do nothing - go into neutral - blank facial expression, no physical contact, no other non-verbal exchange - line of least resistance, least chance of getting hurt.

    At least he's interacting. Might be a healthy sign that he will muddle through rather than withdraw.