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Lonely

NAS85363

Hi there i was diagnosed early 20s im now in my 30s

I have aspergers (asd)

I just wish i knew how to make friends or even just a friend but it is so hard, all i have is my boyfriend i feel so lonely all the time and just don't no how to change this, i can write things down but talking face to face i struggle until i am comfortable with you, i wouldn't even no where to go to meet any people, im scared of rejection and being found annoying by other people.

Can anyone relate to this?

Parents

  • Definitely can relate. Probably everyone on here can relate to this a bit I imagine. It’s great that you have your boyfriend though. Is he understanding? And does he have any friends that you get along with? I definitely don’t feel comfortable to people I’m not really close to. When I do my husband always says that an outsider would never know - because I do a reasonable job of hiding how stressful I find it. But after any conversation with other people I just feel exhausted and stressed. Because of this I don’t really have any friends that I regularly see because I just don’t enjoy it, and gradually people I knew at college have just drifted away to their own lives. Sometimes I think ‘would I like to have friends?’ - but deep down I just don’t want the stress of it. Do you go to work? And if so do you meet people there?

  • in reply to Kate Kestrel

    Hey thanks for your reply, yeah my boyfriend is understanding but i kinda think he may be autistic himself but he hasnt got a diagnosis.

    I am the same also as yourself i want friends but i dont want the hassle or awkwardness of conversation.

    I dont work i wouldn't even no where to begin with work i would struggle so bad =/ 

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  • in reply to Kate Kestrel

    Hey thanks for your reply, yeah my boyfriend is understanding but i kinda think he may be autistic himself but he hasnt got a diagnosis.

    I am the same also as yourself i want friends but i dont want the hassle or awkwardness of conversation.

    I dont work i wouldn't even no where to begin with work i would struggle so bad =/ 

Children
  • in reply to NAS85363

    For years the work I have done is from home. My husband also has many autistic traits but like your partner hasn’t got a diagnosis. I don’t think my husband would quite meet the threshold for a diagnosis to be honest. Both of our children have a diagnosis of autism. 
    My eldest made some friends at Uni - and met his girlfriend there too. But my youngest dropped out of college and he doesn’t have any friends (but really would like some). 
    With us it’s always that contradictory thing - on one level we want friends and on another we don’t. For example - I HATE anyone coming to our house. And because of what’s happened over the last few years with the pandemic I think we’ve got even more isolated and prone to avoiding contact with people. My husband goes to work and deals with a lot of people through his job - but if anything I think that’s put him off people even more!