Women and gay men

Ditch this twisted Freudian fossil narcissist:  "Hysteria"?, Really?, In 2023?

He's not playing with a full desk, judging by your quotes.

Perhaps, try a female therapist (who has read a book published after 1940) to work through this problem. She will have first hand experience of being female and can help you plumb the depths of whatever this blockage is so you can regain your balance and broaden your social horizons.

I was born female and while growing up was drawn to the gay boys all the time. I still am. We were the ones at recess, circling the perimeter fence around the 1950's playgrounds, alone, bewildered, waiting for the mother-ship to come fetch us home, as obviously, we were of another planet/reality not the one we found ourselves on.

You may have not had that joy and were more isolated. We cant give you adequate therapy here on the forum, but we can say a new therapist could. Think how you came to be in the care of the antediluvian therapist you've got now and avoid that way of choosing one in the future.

I, for my part, edging towards my 70's, have a broader range of friends now, now that I've lost the self doubt and shame of a false, stigmatic, soul-crushing, previous diagnosis - one often having been given to females with autism in the past -, and I've learned to stand within my authenticity with more comfort and confidence.

I wish this for you as well.

I am very eager to hear your progress towards self confidence and wholeness! We are all on the forum rooting for you, I'm sure.

for the note.... hysteria doesnt mean anything to do with women at all, its a perfectly valid word that isnt sexist and isnt a bad word directed at women. if thats what people are thinking it means here they are mistaken and need to look up the word and understand all the contexts it can be used in.

a religious person screaming about the end of the world can be described as hysterical for example....

a person screaming at this guy randomly and accusing him of criminal acts and drawing mass attention to it can validly be called hysterical whether it was male or female who did that it doesnt matter. the word still applies and is valid.

Caelus said:

hysteria doesnt mean anything to do with women at all, its a perfectly valid word that isnt sexist and isnt a bad word directed at women

X for doubt. I find that impossible to take seriously when you must have no idea how women were uniquely medically oppressed either historically as this was literally the first result I found on search engine https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hysteria you only have to look as far as the second sentence to see it mention women.

You replied as I was called away from keyboard mid-edit, I already though to clarify my reply but wasn't able to hit send until I got back to the desk just now. You can re-read it if you like.

And I knew that particular peice of etymolgy already btw. But thanks for sharing it.

🐝 Bees 🐝 (they/them) Autism resources in bio #stoptheshock #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs said:

I think the key reason with "flame retardant" is the way it is used it's not applied to people.

It actually comes from the dictionary definition:

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/retard

to make something slower

The same way that the word was originally applied to people of perceived lower mental capacity.

Caelus said:

on the other hand the r word is still used as a legit descriptive word in some ways.... for example.... flame retardant...  its using the same word, with the same meaning and origin which meant slow i think... but using it in another way such as to fight or slow a fire. so even the bad r word is still legit used harmlessly for its descriptive essence so long as its used in a harmless way 

There is that but the key reason it works like that (not a slur) with "flame retardant" is the way it is used it's not applied to people.

was looking the words up, comparing the wikis of the origin of the word. sadly hysterical wasnt fleshed out but the r word was.

and in the r word one it showed many words that id consider slurr word intentional and not descriptive to have once actually been harmless descriptive words. while the r word was actually a "good" word to replace those other slurr sounding words... until the r word then got a reputation for being negative too. so i guess language will always have this problem.

on the other hand the r word is still used as a legit descriptive word in some ways.... for example.... flame retardant...  its using the same word, with the same meaning and origin which meant slow i think... but using it in another way such as to fight or slow a fire. so even the bad r word is still legit used harmlessly for its descriptive essence so long as its used in a harmless way 

I think it can be difficult to see the harm of such phrases if you are not a woman as the word just wouldn't be applied to you the same way. Same as I've seen the R word used by NTs against other NTs as a sarcastic joke, but it's never been meant with any jest when applied to me, only anger and unkindness.

hmmm thats interesting, the r word generally is meant to be a slurr word, possibly.... i have to look it uop whether it was actually a legit descriptive word at one time or whether it was only actually created to be a slurr.... but my head has hysterical down as a none gendered descriptive word along the lines of crazy.

the r word is a word id think was made to be a slurr word.... but to be honest, id still allow people to say it, and probably use it myself to describe anyone doing a stupid thing and showing my disdain for the silly thing they have done if im being honest. 

there is likely other descriptive words that is the r word but without the intent of insult.

i have been called the s word one time which ends in stick but i didnt care or flinch one bit.

i think for me to feel harm in word the word has to have clear intent to me, like one time when someone told me to die in a ditch, that was likely the most harmful example as it caught me at a bad time and it showed everyone around me had no care for me and they meant it.

Caelus said:

its just language.... its ...i dunno... i dunno how to describe to you what i feel people are doing with words here.... take any descriptive word... say... "handsome" .... its just a descriptive word, you know its meaning, but then its like me saying its offensive for some reason, and evil and if you use it your racist against ...say... etheopians for some reason or whatever.... it doesnt make sense... i dont get this taking of a basic descriptive word and then adding evil to it when it doesnt mean evil.

Nah that's now how it works, otherwise the next nasty git on the street could call you or I a R_______ because we are autistic, and you know it's not just a describing word when it gets used on us. Well the same is true of women, some words just are used with intent to diminish or harm them.

Caelus said:

like the ops example, some person screaming at him shouting loudly for all to hear accusations that hes a criminal with no real reason.... that is infact hysterical by the meaning...

Not only was there someone acting that way, she is -- believe it or not -- a psychology professor. 

its literally just a descriptive word meaning hysterical....hysterical meaning ...well crazy... but its own type... its like asking what crazy means, you cant describe it because its its own word, crazy means crazy, hysterical means hysterical... youd know it by someone taking something small and going wild about it and screaming in your face.... like the ops example, some person screaming at him shouting loudly for all to hear accusations that hes a criminal with no real reason.... that is infact hysterical by the meaning...

its just language.... its ...i dunno... i dunno how to describe to you what i feel people are doing with words here.... take any descriptive word... say... "handsome" .... its just a descriptive word, you know its meaning, but then its like me saying its offensive for some reason, and evil and if you use it your racist against ...say... etheopians for some reason or whatever.... it doesnt make sense... i dont get this taking of a basic descriptive word and then adding evil to it when it doesnt mean evil. then it limits peoples use of vocabulary and then we have a world of limited words where you have to hesistate as you dont know how to speak no more, the words and vocabulary youd fluidly use you cannot use and the alternate words either dont exist or are not as exact or are simply not the type of word on your tongue so you lose fluidity of language 

its literally just a descriptive word meaning hysterical....hysterical meaning ...well crazy... but its own type... its like asking what crazy means, you cant describe it because its its own word, crazy means crazy, hysterical means hysterical... youd know it by someone taking something small and going wild about it and screaming in your face.... like the ops example, some person screaming at him shouting loudly for all to hear accusations that hes a criminal with no real reason.... that is infact hysterical by the meaning...

its just language.... its ...i dunno... i dunno how to describe to you what i feel people are doing with words here.... take any descriptive word... say... "handsome" .... its just a descriptive word, you know its meaning, but then its like me saying its offensive for some reason, and evil and if you use it your racist against ...say... etheopians for some reason or whatever.... it doesnt make sense... i dont get this taking of a basic descriptive word and then adding evil to it when it doesnt mean evil. then it limits peoples use of vocabulary and then we have a world of limited words where you have to hesistate as you dont know how to speak no more, the words and vocabulary youd fluidly use you cannot use and the alternate words either dont exist or are not as exact or are simply not the type of word on your tongue so you lose fluidity of language 

You replied as I was called away from keyboard mid-edit, I already though to clarify my reply but wasn't able to hit send until I got back to the desk just now. You can re-read it if you like.

And I knew that particular peice of etymolgy already btw. But thanks for sharing it.

🐝 Bees 🐝 (they/them) Autism resources in bio #stoptheshock #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs said:

I think the key reason with "flame retardant" is the way it is used it's not applied to people.

It actually comes from the dictionary definition:

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/retard

to make something slower

The same way that the word was originally applied to people of perceived lower mental capacity.

Caelus said:

on the other hand the r word is still used as a legit descriptive word in some ways.... for example.... flame retardant...  its using the same word, with the same meaning and origin which meant slow i think... but using it in another way such as to fight or slow a fire. so even the bad r word is still legit used harmlessly for its descriptive essence so long as its used in a harmless way 

There is that but the key reason it works like that (not a slur) with "flame retardant" is the way it is used it's not applied to people.

was looking the words up, comparing the wikis of the origin of the word. sadly hysterical wasnt fleshed out but the r word was.

and in the r word one it showed many words that id consider slurr word intentional and not descriptive to have once actually been harmless descriptive words. while the r word was actually a "good" word to replace those other slurr sounding words... until the r word then got a reputation for being negative too. so i guess language will always have this problem.

on the other hand the r word is still used as a legit descriptive word in some ways.... for example.... flame retardant...  its using the same word, with the same meaning and origin which meant slow i think... but using it in another way such as to fight or slow a fire. so even the bad r word is still legit used harmlessly for its descriptive essence so long as its used in a harmless way 

I think it can be difficult to see the harm of such phrases if you are not a woman as the word just wouldn't be applied to you the same way. Same as I've seen the R word used by NTs against other NTs as a sarcastic joke, but it's never been meant with any jest when applied to me, only anger and unkindness.

hmmm thats interesting, the r word generally is meant to be a slurr word, possibly.... i have to look it uop whether it was actually a legit descriptive word at one time or whether it was only actually created to be a slurr.... but my head has hysterical down as a none gendered descriptive word along the lines of crazy.

the r word is a word id think was made to be a slurr word.... but to be honest, id still allow people to say it, and probably use it myself to describe anyone doing a stupid thing and showing my disdain for the silly thing they have done if im being honest. 

there is likely other descriptive words that is the r word but without the intent of insult.

i have been called the s word one time which ends in stick but i didnt care or flinch one bit.

i think for me to feel harm in word the word has to have clear intent to me, like one time when someone told me to die in a ditch, that was likely the most harmful example as it caught me at a bad time and it showed everyone around me had no care for me and they meant it.

Caelus said:

its just language.... its ...i dunno... i dunno how to describe to you what i feel people are doing with words here.... take any descriptive word... say... "handsome" .... its just a descriptive word, you know its meaning, but then its like me saying its offensive for some reason, and evil and if you use it your racist against ...say... etheopians for some reason or whatever.... it doesnt make sense... i dont get this taking of a basic descriptive word and then adding evil to it when it doesnt mean evil.

Nah that's now how it works, otherwise the next nasty git on the street could call you or I a R_______ because we are autistic, and you know it's not just a describing word when it gets used on us. Well the same is true of women, some words just are used with intent to diminish or harm them.

Caelus said:

like the ops example, some person screaming at him shouting loudly for all to hear accusations that hes a criminal with no real reason.... that is infact hysterical by the meaning...

Not only was there someone acting that way, she is -- believe it or not -- a psychology professor.