• Replies 6 replies
  • Subscribers 34 subscribers
  • Views 1790 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

getting kicked out for being too autistic

elliot

i’m 20 and on the verge of getting kicked out of my dads house for being too visibly autistic. he believes autism is a behavioural problem and that i deliberately choose to mask ‘when it suits me’. he says he will not tolerate rudeness or passive aggression anymore (his idea of this is when i don’t make eye contact or small talk, and when my tone of voice isn’t ‘polite enough’) … granted these things are easier for me in certain situations but we already have a lot of issues in our relationship due to past abuse & him basically being a huge misogynist who 100% believes i am unstable and need to be disciplined into normality. 

my mum is being somewhat helpful but they are divorced and do not live together, and she also faced horrendous abuse from him and he has no interest in listening to her when she tries to advocate for me. right now she is trying to help me sort financial support and housing because i am completely unable to work or leave the house on my own or even contact services myself to access support. i am essentially trapped in my own home trying to hide all visible signs of autism because i know one slip up could leave me homeless - i have nowhere else to go, my mum has no room for me and i have no other family. 

I’ve never been more genuinely terrified for my future. i don’t feel able to live on my own yet, there are a thousand things i can’t do independently which include even the most mundane of household tasks, and i have nobody to support me. i also fear that in being forced to leave and be permanently on my own before i’m ready my mental health will rapidly decline and i might fall into old dangerous habits, i worry i will never talk to another person again, i will have no money and be unable to eat, have no friends, no chance at a relationship, and being unable to drive and having a chronic phobia of public transport (it sounds silly i know, but i cannot even look at a bus without nausea) will leave me trapped on my own unable to even go out into the community on my own.

i know nobody can really help but i desperately needed to talk about it 

Parents

  • Ive been in this situation, ultimately, my road to recovery started when I moved out. I went to the Housing Local Authority said that I was homeless with immediate effect, I talked to them and they tried to push me out of the door, I asked if there was a local YMCA and asked to me referred, in the next few days I moved in.

    It wasn’t heaven I’ll say that, but it is better than being entombed in a hostile familial home, after two years you’ll be offered a supported-rented accommodation.

    I hope you consider this as an option, as scary as it sounds, because nothing is more toxic than familial abuse/neglect. There is nothing that you are describing that I haven’t strung out to its ultimate end. I have not used a bus for regular transport for years and I need to walk 3 miles to and from the town centre.

    It took me two attempts at contacting local-authorities to leave my familial home/s, the first time I was told “I had no options as a 21 year old” (which was a complete lie), when I was 24 I went back and was told that “I hadn’t got the same options as a 21 year old” (by the same housing officer I had spoken to years before), I told him of the YMCA and he begrudgingly referred me. 

    It’s been no picnic to start assembling some independence, it has been no picnic to nurture my family and forgive, I still haven’t completely forgiven. But with my diagnosis this year at 28 years old, I feel like I’m finding my way, I didn’t take the easy path ever. I have been awarded social resources this year, that have stopped me agonising as much, I feel like I’ve lost access to the depressive fathomlessness that I use to live everyday.. 

    We’re here for you if you need us..Nerd

Reply

  • Ive been in this situation, ultimately, my road to recovery started when I moved out. I went to the Housing Local Authority said that I was homeless with immediate effect, I talked to them and they tried to push me out of the door, I asked if there was a local YMCA and asked to me referred, in the next few days I moved in.

    It wasn’t heaven I’ll say that, but it is better than being entombed in a hostile familial home, after two years you’ll be offered a supported-rented accommodation.

    I hope you consider this as an option, as scary as it sounds, because nothing is more toxic than familial abuse/neglect. There is nothing that you are describing that I haven’t strung out to its ultimate end. I have not used a bus for regular transport for years and I need to walk 3 miles to and from the town centre.

    It took me two attempts at contacting local-authorities to leave my familial home/s, the first time I was told “I had no options as a 21 year old” (which was a complete lie), when I was 24 I went back and was told that “I hadn’t got the same options as a 21 year old” (by the same housing officer I had spoken to years before), I told him of the YMCA and he begrudgingly referred me. 

    It’s been no picnic to start assembling some independence, it has been no picnic to nurture my family and forgive, I still haven’t completely forgiven. But with my diagnosis this year at 28 years old, I feel like I’m finding my way, I didn’t take the easy path ever. I have been awarded social resources this year, that have stopped me agonising as much, I feel like I’ve lost access to the depressive fathomlessness that I use to live everyday.. 

    We’re here for you if you need us..Nerd

Children
No Data