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getting kicked out for being too autistic

elliot

i’m 20 and on the verge of getting kicked out of my dads house for being too visibly autistic. he believes autism is a behavioural problem and that i deliberately choose to mask ‘when it suits me’. he says he will not tolerate rudeness or passive aggression anymore (his idea of this is when i don’t make eye contact or small talk, and when my tone of voice isn’t ‘polite enough’) … granted these things are easier for me in certain situations but we already have a lot of issues in our relationship due to past abuse & him basically being a huge misogynist who 100% believes i am unstable and need to be disciplined into normality. 

my mum is being somewhat helpful but they are divorced and do not live together, and she also faced horrendous abuse from him and he has no interest in listening to her when she tries to advocate for me. right now she is trying to help me sort financial support and housing because i am completely unable to work or leave the house on my own or even contact services myself to access support. i am essentially trapped in my own home trying to hide all visible signs of autism because i know one slip up could leave me homeless - i have nowhere else to go, my mum has no room for me and i have no other family. 

I’ve never been more genuinely terrified for my future. i don’t feel able to live on my own yet, there are a thousand things i can’t do independently which include even the most mundane of household tasks, and i have nobody to support me. i also fear that in being forced to leave and be permanently on my own before i’m ready my mental health will rapidly decline and i might fall into old dangerous habits, i worry i will never talk to another person again, i will have no money and be unable to eat, have no friends, no chance at a relationship, and being unable to drive and having a chronic phobia of public transport (it sounds silly i know, but i cannot even look at a bus without nausea) will leave me trapped on my own unable to even go out into the community on my own.

i know nobody can really help but i desperately needed to talk about it 

Parents

  • This could potentially be seen as coercive or controlling behaviour. I’m not a big fan of this law because it’s quite vaguely worded but it was intended to protect people from being bullied into giving over control of their daily lives and allowing others to micromanage their behaviour because they are in a relationship with that person. Contrary to the average persons assumption that can be a family relationship not just a romantic one.

    it sounds like your father is trying to micromanage your behaviour even to a point of when you do and don’t make eye contact. The implicit threat is that if you do not comply you will be thrown out of the home.

    in that situation this could be seen as a soft form of domestic abuse and a woman’s refuge might be an option for you. Getting the police involved might be an option for you.

    www.citizensadvice.org.uk/.../

Reply

  • This could potentially be seen as coercive or controlling behaviour. I’m not a big fan of this law because it’s quite vaguely worded but it was intended to protect people from being bullied into giving over control of their daily lives and allowing others to micromanage their behaviour because they are in a relationship with that person. Contrary to the average persons assumption that can be a family relationship not just a romantic one.

    it sounds like your father is trying to micromanage your behaviour even to a point of when you do and don’t make eye contact. The implicit threat is that if you do not comply you will be thrown out of the home.

    in that situation this could be seen as a soft form of domestic abuse and a woman’s refuge might be an option for you. Getting the police involved might be an option for you.

    www.citizensadvice.org.uk/.../

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