• Replies 25 replies
  • Subscribers 36 subscribers
  • Views 3235 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Going to the doctor

Kate Kestrel

Advice needed please. 
If you have a young autistic adult that you are supporting, and they have a symptom that any (in fact every) doctor would say: ‘get that looked at/checked out by a GP to make sure it’s nothing serious’ but the young adult does not want to go to the doctor, what is the best way to approach helping them with that? When they are totally emphatic that they don’t want to go and see the doctor, but the symptom is one that there is a TINY TINY risk it could be something like cancer? What do you do? 
It’s most likely (by far) that it’s nothing serious but there is a TINY chance that it could be? And the young person hates to be put under pressure of any kind (and I don’t think pressure would help but only stress them out hugely). What do you do in this scenario? 

Parents

  • Hello Kate. I’m so sorry you find yourself in this position and I understand how stressful and frustrating it can be to want and try to help but not really be able to help other than give encourage and as much support as you can muster. I’ve been in this position myself with my Mum who is also too anxious to call her doctor let alone actually go and see him. To be honest there’s not a lot you can do if this person doesn’t want or can’t seek medical help. You should be so proud of yourself though for being there for this person and offering support and encouragement. That in itself will be helping him/her more than you realise so good for you for being there for them. A lot of people don’t realise how big a help they are when they’re looking out for family and friends in the way you are. Wishing you and this person all the best. Take care.

  • in reply to Fantasy

    That’s so kind of you Fantasy - thank you so much Pray

    To be honest I can relate to his anxiety because I feel much the same about going to the Doctor! Or anything medical related. I think though that having had two children the embarrassment side of it (which is worrying my family member a lot) isn’t so much of an issue for me now, but I still struggle a lot with most other aspects of it. But sometimes if it’s something important that’s not really much choice (for me). But I am very respectful of the fact that once someone is an adult and has capacity you have to respect their choice. We have a very good relationship which means everything to me and he knows that. We trust each other and he knows I’d never push him to do something he was not ready for. And he also knows I wouldn’t say it was important if it wasn’t. He hates to be rushed or pressured - that would panic him. I’ll wait a couple of days and gently raise the subject again, and see how he feels about it. Thanks again for your help - it means a lot to find so much kindness and understanding on here. Only other autistic people really ‘get it’ - you know? Thanks x 

Reply
  • in reply to Fantasy

    That’s so kind of you Fantasy - thank you so much Pray

    To be honest I can relate to his anxiety because I feel much the same about going to the Doctor! Or anything medical related. I think though that having had two children the embarrassment side of it (which is worrying my family member a lot) isn’t so much of an issue for me now, but I still struggle a lot with most other aspects of it. But sometimes if it’s something important that’s not really much choice (for me). But I am very respectful of the fact that once someone is an adult and has capacity you have to respect their choice. We have a very good relationship which means everything to me and he knows that. We trust each other and he knows I’d never push him to do something he was not ready for. And he also knows I wouldn’t say it was important if it wasn’t. He hates to be rushed or pressured - that would panic him. I’ll wait a couple of days and gently raise the subject again, and see how he feels about it. Thanks again for your help - it means a lot to find so much kindness and understanding on here. Only other autistic people really ‘get it’ - you know? Thanks x 

Children
No Data