Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anyone else have this problem and how have you dealt with it, I'm going out of my mind!!
My daughter is 12 and her traits seem to be on a massive downward spiral just now, I hardly recognise her as my daughter these days.
Her traits are mostly sensory based and she struggles every day with many tasks. However recently her new trigger is around food and other people eating. Being too loud when they eat, or use there knife and fork, its causing so, so many issues in the house and upsetting my son and husband.
She will say that she is not hungry and would rather not eat than have to sit at the dining room table with us, which is our time to come together as a family, and has always been so.
Do I let her excuse herself, do I make her sit with us, do I let her put earplugs in or eat alone. I'm so worried that any of these options will cause further problems for us as a family, won't help her over come this sensory issue and make the whole thing a much bigger problem, one where she can't go out socially now or when she is older.
I'm literally at my wits end.
A potential issue is that forcing her to eat with you without earplugs or headphones might make the problem much worse. If she finds it unbearable but is made to endure it, it could reach a point where she has a total breakdown, and speaking from personal experience those traumatic moments can damage you for years. When that's happened to me I've had periods where eating anything at all felt impossible, and I still feel scared when I eat that this time will be like that one.
It's not ideal and you want to encourage her to eat meals in the traditional family way, but if she needs to eat alone or with something to block out the sounds then I don't think it's helpful to rule it out.
Thank you, I think I'm beginning to recognise that, I just need to get my husband to accept it too. I think I understand that this could cause trauma to her and I really, really don't want to make her life any harder than it already is. It's just a balance of keeping all parties happy and that is sometimes very difficult when one of you doesn't quiet get the autism traits, yet. Although, is trying every day to understand. I totally agree that my daughter should have her say about what she feels most comfortable with, some teenagers have enough issues surrounding food, without me adding another on top! I will sit down with my husband and read all these messages to him and hopefully he will come to the same conclusion as me and we can help my daughter find a strategy that works for her.