For starters, I think the word itself means so many different things to so many different people which, in turn, can create a conflict of expectations at times.
I think for me, I have so few friends (based on my understanding of friendship) that I hold myself to such a high standard for those people. I really try to listen to what they are saying and to show my support for them, I also try to show my appreciation for them in my not so conventional ways (can’t do hugs etc. so I tend to make things for people or show it through the way I interact verbally) but I often worry that they don’t see it and what those gestures actually mean to me. It often seems to fall flat from my point of view. Probably a bit of the double empathy problem at work, but still disappointing.
I think I probably expect people to be mind readers sometimes, but I suppose I worry that people that I really care about don’t know it.
I have lost a lot of people recently and so making sure that people know I care has become a whole lot more important to me, but I worry that people don’t recognise it.
I know that I’m probably obsessing over this at the moment, which probably won’t be so evident in this simple post, but it is definitely a worry on my mind.
Any thoughts on the matter would be greatly appreciated.
