Small changes adding up, really struggling, is it my autism?

It sounds as if you have too much going on at the moment. Major transitions are stressful, even when prepared and require practical steps to navigate. One important action will be to take time for yourself to indulge in small things you enjoy. This requires making a list of everything which is important - anything financially looming, for example, and what can wait. When life is constantly changing, we all need something to keep us grounded. 

Munchkin said:

I have a colleague who doesn't do what he says he will,

This is a nightmare, and requires sharp diplomatic skills. If this individual impacts your responsibilities, it might be important to ask them directly, and maybe with a light or humorous style what's up. Could they be undiagnosed ADHD? Could they have too much going on at home? You don't have to make it personal, and you can always suggest to "help me help you" if need be. The best approach is to say that "I end up feeling stressed when you don't follow through with what you said you would." Perhaps priorities change?  If a kind attempt to reason with them doesn't work, I would then speak to a manager in private and ask for Help Troubleshooting the Dilemma. Make it impersonal. This is more work than it should be for everyone.

Munchkin said:

I can cope with change but it really ups my stress levels

If change affects us biologically, then we're not really "coping". It's important to take time to evaluate my long-term goals. If I don't have any, continue to ask myself what I want. If I'm spiritual I might meditate/pray/listen - humans aren't really a great design for modern life, IMO. 

Our autistic 'nature' or inclinations (from a few years peeling through the research) besides a different set of values for using language, include a heightened sensory awareness (to various intensities), and this everything-all-at-once brain that can hyper-focus on details - a different sense of Time, essentially, and needs to be minded so we're not rushed. It seems to me we all work best when allowed to finish one thing at a time. When not suffering ambiguity or interruptions. And change is an interruption. Too many loose ends or things unresolved for the Autist can be incredibly de-stabilising. And this can be the flip side to a natural inclination to finalise a thing to its exacting precision (not perfection but precision). 

I have a feeling that due to sense-perceiving too much already, it can drive more of a need to put the chaos into order. That isn't a bad thing, it should never be dismissed. The drivenness we might feel can also create a sort of intensity that NTs find difficult to understand. 

I have a million and one tasks due to working from home. I make lists and try to adhere to long-term and short-term goal setting. Then, I remember we can only do so much and to schedule a walk through the park in every day. The principle I work with is "Act like an Ant" - sort a little every day, minding the more important things are done in a timely manner. But I also have the agency and liberty to not have to suffer ambiguous others or those who are not dependable. And not allow those who don't live by a certain set of standards to impact my life. This one thing can actually help a great deal.

It sounds as if you have too much going on at the moment. Major transitions are stressful, even when prepared and require practical steps to navigate. One important action will be to take time for yourself to indulge in small things you enjoy. This requires making a list of everything which is important - anything financially looming, for example, and what can wait. When life is constantly changing, we all need something to keep us grounded. 

Munchkin said:

I have a colleague who doesn't do what he says he will,

This is a nightmare, and requires sharp diplomatic skills. If this individual impacts your responsibilities, it might be important to ask them directly, and maybe with a light or humorous style what's up. Could they be undiagnosed ADHD? Could they have too much going on at home? You don't have to make it personal, and you can always suggest to "help me help you" if need be. The best approach is to say that "I end up feeling stressed when you don't follow through with what you said you would." Perhaps priorities change?  If a kind attempt to reason with them doesn't work, I would then speak to a manager in private and ask for Help Troubleshooting the Dilemma. Make it impersonal. This is more work than it should be for everyone.

Munchkin said:

I can cope with change but it really ups my stress levels

If change affects us biologically, then we're not really "coping". It's important to take time to evaluate my long-term goals. If I don't have any, continue to ask myself what I want. If I'm spiritual I might meditate/pray/listen - humans aren't really a great design for modern life, IMO. 

Our autistic 'nature' or inclinations (from a few years peeling through the research) besides a different set of values for using language, include a heightened sensory awareness (to various intensities), and this everything-all-at-once brain that can hyper-focus on details - a different sense of Time, essentially, and needs to be minded so we're not rushed. It seems to me we all work best when allowed to finish one thing at a time. When not suffering ambiguity or interruptions. And change is an interruption. Too many loose ends or things unresolved for the Autist can be incredibly de-stabilising. And this can be the flip side to a natural inclination to finalise a thing to its exacting precision (not perfection but precision). 

I have a feeling that due to sense-perceiving too much already, it can drive more of a need to put the chaos into order. That isn't a bad thing, it should never be dismissed. The drivenness we might feel can also create a sort of intensity that NTs find difficult to understand. 

I have a million and one tasks due to working from home. I make lists and try to adhere to long-term and short-term goal setting. Then, I remember we can only do so much and to schedule a walk through the park in every day. The principle I work with is "Act like an Ant" - sort a little every day, minding the more important things are done in a timely manner. But I also have the agency and liberty to not have to suffer ambiguous others or those who are not dependable. And not allow those who don't live by a certain set of standards to impact my life. This one thing can actually help a great deal.

I like the Act like an Ant idea! I usually schedule far too much then feel bad I haven't done it. Today I lost the whole morning to a headache and started already behind.