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Small changes adding up, really struggling, is it my autism?

Munchkin

Hi, I'm a 36 year old female, self diagnosis. 

I find I really struggle with small changes mounting up, it's always been an issue looking back, I can cope with change but it really ups my stress levels. And it tends to be dismissed as me being a control freak or something. But right now it's really pronounced. So much change has happened in my life, I've moved to a new area, my house needs a lot of work and the jobs never end up being what I planned (strip a layer find out the previous owners have done something weird I have to something different about) but it's in work that I'm really struggling at the moment, it's making me feel incredibly drained. I have a colleague who doesn't do what he says he will, he will do a random other things constantly all the time and I have to pick up the thing he didn't do. 

I feel ashamed for struggling with it, like it's me being a control freak and that's a bad thing so I shouldn't. But I just want to be able to figure out my own day as much as possible. I can deal with the unavoidable changes but I'm getting really angry at this guys unreliability. 

And in general I am noticing I feel like constant change is just running out my batteries at the moment nothing seems to go the way I plan. 

So is this likely to be due to my autism? Is it the sort of thing I can ask for reasonable adjustment for? I have already disclosed to my manager, she seems very supportive, her daughter is on the spectrum and she's actually helping me gain understanding of my own. I've never had support I just have to deal with things and the diagnosis has only ever really been useful for me understanding myself. But it's possible in this (also new) job there could be support for me, or at least understanding 

Parents

  • Hello Munchkin, you sound like you need to find ways to stop the stress from taking hold as what you describe is just everyday life and all the technicolour gusher of unpredictability that it brings.

    It may give you more of a sense of control if you take on ways to calm yourself and change your way of focussing on the challenge of the moment. Meditation can help with the first and mindfulness with the second ( https://www.healthline.com/health/mind-body/what-is-mindfulness )

    The stresses are magnified by autism but you can regain more control.

    Before asking for reasonable adjustments I would read up a lot more on autism and understand your own symptoms, triggers and recovery first so you can explain what you want the adjustments to be and be able to explain why.

    Hopefully your employer won't ask to see your diagnosis as you don't have one, but if they do then find out where to get one, how long it takes and what it costs (there are a few threads on that here).

    I would recommend a diagnosis anyway as this can also pick up things like ADHD or bipolar disorder that often present with similar symptoms to autism but need different approaches or treatments.

    By doing the above you are educating youself, preparing yourself and advocating for your own wellbeing - that should be empowering and help you copy much better with the stress you are encountering.

Reply

  • Hello Munchkin, you sound like you need to find ways to stop the stress from taking hold as what you describe is just everyday life and all the technicolour gusher of unpredictability that it brings.

    It may give you more of a sense of control if you take on ways to calm yourself and change your way of focussing on the challenge of the moment. Meditation can help with the first and mindfulness with the second ( https://www.healthline.com/health/mind-body/what-is-mindfulness )

    The stresses are magnified by autism but you can regain more control.

    Before asking for reasonable adjustments I would read up a lot more on autism and understand your own symptoms, triggers and recovery first so you can explain what you want the adjustments to be and be able to explain why.

    Hopefully your employer won't ask to see your diagnosis as you don't have one, but if they do then find out where to get one, how long it takes and what it costs (there are a few threads on that here).

    I would recommend a diagnosis anyway as this can also pick up things like ADHD or bipolar disorder that often present with similar symptoms to autism but need different approaches or treatments.

    By doing the above you are educating youself, preparing yourself and advocating for your own wellbeing - that should be empowering and help you copy much better with the stress you are encountering.

Children
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