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Advice needed for 13yr old son reluctant for ASD assessment

NAS86537

Hi, after years of waiting for an ASD assessment for my now 13 yr old son, I had a phone call this week saying he’d met the criteria to be assessed in a clinic next week. On sharing this with my son, he said he doesn’t want to know if he is autistic or not. When I told the assistant on the phone, she said that he needs more time to process this so the appointment has been cancelled with a review phone call in a month. How do I speak about this with my son who is very reluctant to any sort of change? Any advice would be welcome as I’m feeling overwhelmed at the moment. Thank you. H

  • tell him you will buy him a playstation 5 if he goes along with it lol

    that only works if he hasnt already got one i guess, or if he actually desires one. it might work.

    the trick to getting people to do things they dont want to is always to use the reward system to incentivise them.

  • in reply to Martin

    Thanks for your reply. I really appreciate your feedback and suggestions.

  • It seems the "assistant" at the centre had the right approach. Don't rush him and certainly don't push him into it as it will only make it more difficult to accept. In fact not even mentioning it may be a good plan. I have just accepted my Autism in my 60s and this has been difficult enough. He will probably come around to wanting it in his own good time. Let him take control of the process if you can. 

  • Martin has the right approach I think - pointing out that it is more of an exclusive club with incredible potential if harnessed should get his interest.

    Does he have any issues from his symptoms? If so, then point out that he can get help with these which will be very handy when he is making the most of that incredible brain power that many high functioning autists have.

    Remind him that is he is autistic then there is no need to disclose it if he is adamant, but it will give him the opportunity to learn more about it, how to live with it and make the most of his potential.

    Is he open to a bit of bribing to get the test done? It is probably worth it from your side I would think.

    If he remains against it then I would keep notes of the autistic behaviours you notice over time and in maybe a year speak to him again, point these out and remind him of which of these could have been helped with a diagnosis.

  • Thanks so much for your reply and suggestions. They are rally helpful.

  • Point out that a diagnosis will not change who he is and that he can choose who he tells, or doesn't tell. He is at an age when the desire of fitting in with others is at its most acute. Being diagnosed will not affect his ability to fit in, it might even help in that he can create work arounds, once he knows what his difficulties are and why he has them.

    Pointing out that the one of the richest people in the world is autistic, Elon Musk, and that a number of others are suspected of being, might be useful. Isaac Newton, Michelangelo, Mozart, Charles Darwin, Picasso and Albert Einstein all showed autistic traits, so he would be in exalted company if he were autistic.