Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi.
I'm getting married in June and I think the anxiety is going to kill me. I suffer from horrific anxiety and it's causing me so much grief. I get physical pain from it and have been hospitalised twice because of the pain, really embarrassing but the doctors and nurses are always more than understanding. The wedding will be full of family, probably really loud. I'm terrified. My partner is so understanding. He's already offered to push the date back until I'm ready but I think this will always be a problem for me!
If you've been married how did you cope and get through the wedding? My brain is all over the place, so many thoughts and worries all the time. I only got 3hrs sleep last night and I've got work tomorrow. *sobs*
I'm worried about my dress as well. I've gone for a vintage one as I thought it looks gorgeous and it was cheaper than a lot of others I looked at. I'm worried my mum will disapprove of this.
So many worries, so much stress. I wish I could hibernate and forget life for a while.
Congratulations on the wedding.
I think preparations for big events like this are stressful for anyone and far worse if you are autistic. It's normal to be nervous, but you are faced with a rather large burden on the executive and social function. No wonder you are feeling the strain with so many worries and the physical pain could be an alert that you are burning out.
It sounds to me though that the two of you need to hold central the fact that you are embarking on a marriage; the frippery of the wedding is just one day. And it's about the two of you - and no one else. You need to get the day YOU want. Certainly, your dress is your choice. If your mum disapproves that really is her problem, not yours. If it might get too noisy, what can you do to reduce or mitigate the noise level? Do you really want that many people there? Can someone else take charge of some of the organisation?
I'm sure you and your other half could work through what's worrying you about all the details and just cut out anything that's too much, or tone down some elements. Keep all the bits that are really important to the two of you and ditch whatever is there just to please others. You are getting married not them, after all. Others need to fit in with you.
As for my own, well due to a family illness it was reduced to a handful of us in a registrar's office, sadly.
I wish you every happiness for the future.