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Lateness

Trisha

I'm not sure about the other autistics here but being late bothers me. If there's an agreed time then I make sure I'm there no matter what. It bothers me when I don't stick to an agreed time, it is an agreement, a promise.

I'm stood here waiting for the bus. It's almost eight minutes late. I know there could be traffic hold-ups but it still bothers me that the agreed time for its arrival is past and I now could be late for school.

Another time incident happened the other day. My Mum said she would have an evening with me, she'd be in my room at seven. Seven comes and goes. She never came up. The next morning she says she forgot, but I think it was more she didn't want to but said she would to make me happy and feel loved.

Parents

  • My mother is almost certainly undiagnosed ADHD. Having many of these friends (they're attracted to my Au - anchoring traits) I've gotten used to some polarities of differences that used to be maddening, especially when it comes to these friends who have a different type of "memory", one not as locked in stone as mine. 

    Now, with NT friends it's a little different. Everything is so symbolic with them and forgetting can be an act of aggression, whereas the ADHD brain might need me to send them a quick reminder, to be a partner in our meeting up a little more. They bring the fun, I bring the order.

    It's important to recognise the difficulties or limits of another. Let your mum know that punctuality is a matter of respect with you and she can fail at something else but for some reason this matters. If it's more bio-mechanical that she has memory issues, then you may need to write a few exceptions to this rule. 

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  • My mother is almost certainly undiagnosed ADHD. Having many of these friends (they're attracted to my Au - anchoring traits) I've gotten used to some polarities of differences that used to be maddening, especially when it comes to these friends who have a different type of "memory", one not as locked in stone as mine. 

    Now, with NT friends it's a little different. Everything is so symbolic with them and forgetting can be an act of aggression, whereas the ADHD brain might need me to send them a quick reminder, to be a partner in our meeting up a little more. They bring the fun, I bring the order.

    It's important to recognise the difficulties or limits of another. Let your mum know that punctuality is a matter of respect with you and she can fail at something else but for some reason this matters. If it's more bio-mechanical that she has memory issues, then you may need to write a few exceptions to this rule. 

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