Lateness

I really hate being late - it's one of the reasons why I've decided to start driving again, so I don't need to wait for delayed/cancelled buses or my parents having to take me.

Where I work, we don't open until 10:00, but I generally get there for about 8:15-8:30 as it means I can relax before I start work, usually by having a coffee and a walk round.

It drives me crazy whenever someone says they'll pick me up by a certain time and they arrive late - I can usually forgive a few minutes, but any more then I start getting stressed out.

Glad you managed to get to your lesson and hope you had a good weekend.

Mweekie xx

I am the same. I find punctuality (or lack of it) amongst my friends and family really hard. I am always at the very least 15 mins early to everything, I cannot stand being late or even on the minutes. My friends however can be anywhere from 5 mins to a whole hour late on occasions and I find it really hard to explain to them how much this can have an effect on me.

I always wondered if it was an autistic trait of mine or not, but I know that others notice it a lot too. 

I’m very rarely late myself but if someone is late (which used to drive me insane when I was on the gay scene) it just comes across as rudeness - I often wondered if The Queen had autism as even aside from royal protocol she placed great emphasis on punctuality 

My mother is almost certainly undiagnosed ADHD. Having many of these friends (they're attracted to my Au - anchoring traits) I've gotten used to some polarities of differences that used to be maddening, especially when it comes to these friends who have a different type of "memory", one not as locked in stone as mine. 

Now, with NT friends it's a little different. Everything is so symbolic with them and forgetting can be an act of aggression, whereas the ADHD brain might need me to send them a quick reminder, to be a partner in our meeting up a little more. They bring the fun, I bring the order.

It's important to recognise the difficulties or limits of another. Let your mum know that punctuality is a matter of respect with you and she can fail at something else but for some reason this matters. If it's more bio-mechanical that she has memory issues, then you may need to write a few exceptions to this rule. 

I really relate to this. If I know Im going to be late for anything I get so anxious and panicy, especially if theres traffic or queues or anything like that. Sometimes I even have bad dreams where Im getting later or later for something 

I never mean to be late but it seems to take me ages to begin to leave - that old inertia issue, taking a slow and unfocussed but building run up- and while I try to allow a reasonable amount of time to get through that phase and still be on my way with a plausible window of time to make an appointment or catch-up, then a secondary issue can kick in - my terrible sense of direction. I’ve had to go on prior recces for crucial appointments just in case I somehow turn a straight line into an iterative approach spriral on the day. 

While my degree of lateness is generally minimal - in the five to fifteen minute range for the most part - it’s earned me some relentless teasing over the years from my two IRL friends who’ve stayed the course. I arrived at something before they did about two months ago and the mock astonishment was funny but also hurt a bit as I can see that even a lifetime of flawless counterbalancing will not erase the charicature that I am to them in this regard.

One of a number of good things about my job is that my start and finish times have a little flexibility built in, so I always do my full hours or even more than them if in the mood, but I can work from 10-6 or 9.45-5.45 etc. rather than the standard  9-5 and that helps me find a manageable pace to wake up and do all the morning rituals with the measured pacing I require. In my previous post it wasn’t possible and the stress and panic of rush hour on a day when I had to open up or attend a weekly catch-up meeting was horrible. Others in the office are real early birds rather than night owls like me, so some of them do an 8-4. I like having the darkening quiet of the office to myself (and one other person who sits in an inner office in the same space) once the main crowd has gone. I probably have my best focus all day in those moments. 

Thanks for replying you guys I'm glad it's not just me bothered by people being late. I wish people would stick to agreement in every way, it's unsettling if they don't isn't it.

I made it there on time just before the bell went. Chest hurt like crazy after but I'm ok. Survived double maths and going to relax this weekend.

Yeah, I hate being late. I must always be atleast 10 minutes early for appointments just to make sure I am not late. It always stresses me out how other people can be so lacks about turning up on time. Even when it’s just a start time for an event that will go on for hours, and there really is no need to turn up on the dot, I still have this need to be there at the stated start time.

I do find people being late quite unacceptable, on the opposite side, I really struggle when I give someone an appointment time and they turn up early. I’ve had people phone me and ask where I am? I often haven’t unlocked the door. I need the time alone before an appointment to prep the conversation and be on the ‘front foot’, if I’ve met them before, I have stored facts about them and have most of the conversation pre mapped. Turning up early just throws me into a tailspin.

I can't stand being late, or when others are late and don't let me know. Even when I'm doing something alone and have decided for myself when I want to be there, I still get stressed out if I end up running late compared with the time I'd planned to be there!

Having said that, I also don't like being too early. If I've got to wait around for 45 minutes to do what I'm there for or for someone else to arrive, I will spend at least 40 of those minutes worrying about every possible way I could mess things up.

Lateness really bothers me too. I don't see the point in agreeing to meet at a certain time and then not sticking to it, it just makes no sense to me. 

Sorry to hear you're having issues with getting the bus right now - the bus being late or not showing up used to really stress me out too when I was in school. I would end up going home and skipping school altogether because I'd be so overwhelmed. Hope the rest of your day goes better! 

im usually always a hour early. i get told off at work for being too early and my kung fu teacher used to come early to class and i was always outside the door before him and he always asks me if i camped there overnight lol

its the wait between nothingness and the event that gives me anxiety, i cant stand waiting so i go early, then im ok when im at the place but super early, that wait doesnt bother me as im already in position for the thing.

Quickly update, bus never turned up so now running to school. I'm tired all ready and it's not even nine yet and double maths to start