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Depression and possible Autism/Aspergers

Bigbro

Hello, I'm new here but I've been researching and learning from this site and community for quite some time now and have come to the conclusion that my brother could be somewhere on the spectrum.

He's 31 and has always been a fairly lonely guy and never had many friends. Since reading these forums I have noticed he has a number of traits. Now, I could be completely wrong about this but it might be something worth exploring.

The problem is that he is currently suffering with quite severe depression. This all came to a head a few years ago when he came out and told us he's gay. I'm also gay and came out when I was about 18 but my mother didn't react well to the news so he's kept it to himself for about 10 years. I can't imagine what that's done to him and I feel so sorry for him.

He's being treated for the depression and has counselling but my question to you guys is whether the depression should be dealt with before bringing up the possibility of him being on the spectrum. On one hand, if he is on the spectrum, it may help him to understand how he's feeling. On the other, it could confuse things and make things worse.

I'd really appreciate any thoughts, ideas and suggestions on this and if you have any questions, please do ask.

Thanks for reading.

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  • IntenseWorld said:

    I may also be naive about this, but I have wondered in the past, whether some people choose being gay once they have had disappointing experiences with members of the opposite gender that make them not want to repeat the experience.

    (personal response)

    I think it might be better to say that people recognise that they are gay, rather than 'choose being gay', after such an experience. Certainly I've got friends who've gone through that process. I have no idea whether we are literally born with our sexualities determined, or whether they emerge in some subtle way later on. But in as much as attraction is a response, rather than a positive action, it's definitely not something we consciously choose.

    Alex R

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  • IntenseWorld said:

    I may also be naive about this, but I have wondered in the past, whether some people choose being gay once they have had disappointing experiences with members of the opposite gender that make them not want to repeat the experience.

    (personal response)

    I think it might be better to say that people recognise that they are gay, rather than 'choose being gay', after such an experience. Certainly I've got friends who've gone through that process. I have no idea whether we are literally born with our sexualities determined, or whether they emerge in some subtle way later on. But in as much as attraction is a response, rather than a positive action, it's definitely not something we consciously choose.

    Alex R

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