Depression and possible Autism/Aspergers

Hello, I'm new here but I've been researching and learning from this site and community for quite some time now and have come to the conclusion that my brother could be somewhere on the spectrum.

He's 31 and has always been a fairly lonely guy and never had many friends. Since reading these forums I have noticed he has a number of traits. Now, I could be completely wrong about this but it might be something worth exploring.

The problem is that he is currently suffering with quite severe depression. This all came to a head a few years ago when he came out and told us he's gay. I'm also gay and came out when I was about 18 but my mother didn't react well to the news so he's kept it to himself for about 10 years. I can't imagine what that's done to him and I feel so sorry for him.

He's being treated for the depression and has counselling but my question to you guys is whether the depression should be dealt with before bringing up the possibility of him being on the spectrum. On one hand, if he is on the spectrum, it may help him to understand how he's feeling. On the other, it could confuse things and make things worse.

I'd really appreciate any thoughts, ideas and suggestions on this and if you have any questions, please do ask.

Thanks for reading.

Parents

longman over 12 years ago

I think the issue of sexuality and autism has more to do with two things: confusing messages, and being already "different". The latter fits in in some ways with your suggestion about social implications being less restrictive, so I think you've made very good points there.
On the confusing messages side, it may in part be due to lack of socially directed sexual cues from a peer group in teenage years, but there also seem to be sexual behaviour elements arising out of proximity sensitivity, need for compression, humour/obsession about sexual function, and other behaviours.
Low self esteem could also be a trigger.
Being already different and ostracised means being more willing to accept something that also isolates. Maybe not so much to lose. So as I say, you may be on the right lines there.
The trouble is all the scientists care about is finding a cure for autism, if that's possible. Finding cures always attracts lots of funding. It also has more cudos.
Unfortunately research on lifestyles and how to improve lives led by people with autism comes much lower down the funding scale, with corresponding neglect. Things that might make a difference to individuals aint attractive to the scientists.
There's not much written about sexuality and autism, so I guess people adversely affected will be left to cope in silence.

Reply

longman over 12 years ago

I think the issue of sexuality and autism has more to do with two things: confusing messages, and being already "different". The latter fits in in some ways with your suggestion about social implications being less restrictive, so I think you've made very good points there.
On the confusing messages side, it may in part be due to lack of socially directed sexual cues from a peer group in teenage years, but there also seem to be sexual behaviour elements arising out of proximity sensitivity, need for compression, humour/obsession about sexual function, and other behaviours.
Low self esteem could also be a trigger.
Being already different and ostracised means being more willing to accept something that also isolates. Maybe not so much to lose. So as I say, you may be on the right lines there.
The trouble is all the scientists care about is finding a cure for autism, if that's possible. Finding cures always attracts lots of funding. It also has more cudos.
Unfortunately research on lifestyles and how to improve lives led by people with autism comes much lower down the funding scale, with corresponding neglect. Things that might make a difference to individuals aint attractive to the scientists.
There's not much written about sexuality and autism, so I guess people adversely affected will be left to cope in silence.

Children

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