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leolibramum

Hello. I have a wonderful son aged 11 next month. I have said since he was very little that there was something "different" in his development. Now after nearly 8 years the school have decided i was right. (Not that that makes me feel any better) he is extremely bright in some areas...ie he can work out your change before the cash register can. But in other areas ie socializing he is not very good. We have been sent to the school nurse who says if he isn't on the autistic spectrum she would be very surprised, she even mentioned aspergers. I have no clue what all this means, how they are going to diagnose it etc. Also i am struggling to deal with his outburts. He is never violent to anyone however he will slam doors, try to kick holes in walls....the list goes on. Any suggestions to help would be greatfully appreciated as anything i do seems to aggrevate the situation. 

Parents

  • Hi - I am also new and have similar problems. My son is 12. I initiated the diagnosis at the end of year 6, as the primary school did not link the various incidents and behaviours over the years. I think that my support at home was preventing more serious incidents at school.

    I have had to deal with all the outbursts and meltdowns that you mention. It seemed to get worse in the last 2 years at primary school. The children knew him so well and could wind him up for fun. He was always sad that he had no one to invite to birthday parties, despite my efforts to help him make friends.

    At secondary school the transition was hard for both of us. He has gradually settled down and sees much less of the children he had trouble with. There seem to be fewer incidents at school and therefore at home. (We have had broken doors etc.and he does attack people physically)

    Although he is hostile to the diagnosis and all that it entails, it seems to have made him more self-aware and less in denial of his bad behaviour. We can usually talk things through after he has calmed down.

    My parents have found it very hard to accept the diagnosis and often said 'he will grow out of it'. Not very supportive. I have had to be quite confrontational with them to get them to take it seriously. I haven't told all my family and friends yet. Luckily there is a very supportive local AS family support group in my area. You might wish to find such a group - I went before diagnosis and they were very welcoming.

    Good luck!

Reply

  • Hi - I am also new and have similar problems. My son is 12. I initiated the diagnosis at the end of year 6, as the primary school did not link the various incidents and behaviours over the years. I think that my support at home was preventing more serious incidents at school.

    I have had to deal with all the outbursts and meltdowns that you mention. It seemed to get worse in the last 2 years at primary school. The children knew him so well and could wind him up for fun. He was always sad that he had no one to invite to birthday parties, despite my efforts to help him make friends.

    At secondary school the transition was hard for both of us. He has gradually settled down and sees much less of the children he had trouble with. There seem to be fewer incidents at school and therefore at home. (We have had broken doors etc.and he does attack people physically)

    Although he is hostile to the diagnosis and all that it entails, it seems to have made him more self-aware and less in denial of his bad behaviour. We can usually talk things through after he has calmed down.

    My parents have found it very hard to accept the diagnosis and often said 'he will grow out of it'. Not very supportive. I have had to be quite confrontational with them to get them to take it seriously. I haven't told all my family and friends yet. Luckily there is a very supportive local AS family support group in my area. You might wish to find such a group - I went before diagnosis and they were very welcoming.

    Good luck!

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