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Constant need to be productive. Not letting yourself rest/stop unless seriously in crisis or ill

Ann :)
over 1 year ago

Hi, I was wondering if anyone else experiences this. I am really burnt out and struggling at the moment and I have noticed that I have this constant need to 'be productive'. It is making it very hard for me to rest and even more so as I currently cannot engage with my special interests and don't have any activities which I enjoy- this makes resting even harder as I just feel like an utter failure and hate myself when I don't do anything or when I make myself do an activity I don't enjoy for the sake of relaxing. 

It's become so bad that I have noticed that I am (subconciously?) self-sabotaging myself as I will only allow myself to rest/ do mindless/useless activities if I am feeling really unwell or ill- I have a lot of issues with digestion and food and I have the past days been so frustrated with myself that I made myself eat things that I knew would set off my IBS and make me nauseaus and unwell... which just makes me then feel more stupid and upset. 

I've noticed that I just cannot let myself 'stop' or pause unless I have something to do which I find 'worth it' and very enjoyable or if I am very ill/unwell or if there is NO need/ pressure to do anything (possibly...) but I have all these things that I need to do (but am in part just not really up to doing yet.... like writing a research proposal and sorting out yet another international move)... 

I have no idea how I can challenge this belief and stop the self-sabotage which is making me very unhappy. I wish I had a hobby I loved that I could do but sadly I don't. 

Can anyone relate to this? Any ideas on how to challenge this? 

Parents
  • over 1 year ago

    Yes, I have this too, although not to the same extent. I find it really hard to give myself permission to relax. I do relax a bit, but unfortunately in my case not giving myself enough time to relax often seems to result in mindless internet procrastination (which is frequently upsetting or annoying rather than relaxing) instead of giving myself permission to read a book or watch TV.

    I think it stems from perfectionism rather than autism. Are you a perfectionist? I have been since childhood, sadly.

    I agree with Cece about putting relaxation into your daily plan. Can you do something relaxing while you eat (e.g. watch TV, listen to music), to "trick" yourself into relaxing while feeling like you're doing something important (eating)?

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  • over 1 year ago

    Yes, I have this too, although not to the same extent. I find it really hard to give myself permission to relax. I do relax a bit, but unfortunately in my case not giving myself enough time to relax often seems to result in mindless internet procrastination (which is frequently upsetting or annoying rather than relaxing) instead of giving myself permission to read a book or watch TV.

    I think it stems from perfectionism rather than autism. Are you a perfectionist? I have been since childhood, sadly.

    I agree with Cece about putting relaxation into your daily plan. Can you do something relaxing while you eat (e.g. watch TV, listen to music), to "trick" yourself into relaxing while feeling like you're doing something important (eating)?

Children
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