Published on 12, July, 2020
I have been thinking recently about masking and the various means that one uses to mask. It has occurred to me, that the use of a ‘passive voice’ in my communication, is a big part of the way I write and speak.
I can remember all the way back to college, that tutors used to comment on my ‘wordiness’, I well-achieved (D*D*D*) in College but kids always used to say “You’re not that smart are you? You just write a lot”. The implication being that I was obscuring my lack of understanding. The more I’ve written, the better I have gotten at writing, but I still write a lot. I find that every now and again I take on a new element of language, but I always write a lot and I never reread, I just speed-write to victory. In my speech I do talk a lot, talking about anything at length and for length, I enjoy getting my thoughts out and enjoy how language is constructed in my head. But I also speak longer words and phrases in a disagreeable situation, to offset any aggressive reaction to my imperative, I find that a great rhetorical-tool can be found in elongated words and phrases and sentences.
I have thought that: Maybe it is because I have enjoy vocabulary but not grammar, or maybe it is because I never formally-learned grammar at school, or maybe I abandoned the ‘active voice’ as a means of non-detection and non-confrontation. It may even have been, a kind-of speed writing that I developed, to safely expose myself to writing and speech.
It has not been the case, that all the individuals that I know (who have an Autism Spectrum Condition), have a circumlocutory communication style. I have known some ASC individuals, to be very literal and active in their communication, and no less intelligent.
So I guess I am just interested to know: How this style of communication sits-with and is experienced by the community? Why the community thinks it occurs? Is it born of the environment and exposure? Is it a repetitive action or an interest? Is it a means of evasion or development? Is it the result of the level of skill attainment?
A year on I understand my point here on my defences, but I don’t really encounter anything but false-smiles these days, I think if I was challenged now by someone on autism it’d be traumatising knockout..
I feel a-little like the male dog in ‘lady and the tramp 2’, which is to say a little out of shape, a little stagnant..
I don't understand what you have written here.
I would like to understand.
Can you put some meat on the bones for me?
I like the fact that you are evidently running through some motions (and emotions) that I faced in my years of 34-43. I believe you are notably younger than I. I think that this age disparity is probably a great thing from your point of view. On the balance of current evidence available to me.....I wish I had been aware of my "autistic predicament" in my early 40's - ie when I realised that there was something DECIDEDLY "other" about me, my feelings, my beliefs, my priorities....and at that point, my notably obscure and unusual history.
One of the most healthy things about this place, in my opinion, is being able to talk with other autistics at various ages and various stages of enlightenment/survival strategy. I love the fact that I feel connected and able to speak with so many, of so many ages, histories and "stages."