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How challenging is small talk for you?

Steven

I think people might describe me as being well-mannered. Though I try to be, it's not the flattering opinion it might seem but, instead, testament to my restricted behaviour in company - I have to follow conversational conventions, and politeness is such a convention. 

If someone asks "How are you?", then I can answer briefly or (far too) extensively; both might be viewed as autistic habits. None of this means I'm at ease in conversations, as cues and subtleties don't always make their presences felt. Most importantly, I have to remind myself to ask "And how are you?" in return; not because I don't care but because *making the conversational transition is a hard, slow process for me and doesn't spring to my mind immediately*. And all the while I'm conscious that mine is a limited life, one which limits fluent and interesting conversation. 

How difficult or easy do you find small talk and general conversation?

Parents

  • Very, I find myself asking prescribed questions and then the chat seems to fizzle out.

  • in reply to Han

    I know that feeling. Even with the two friends who’ve stayed the course with me longest, I can sense when we meet over a meal their slight irritation when I try to replicate their more naturally innate ability to initiate a new topic in the conversation. Somehow I nearly always mistime it or choose something not quite right, or that covers ground already felt adequately mined, etc. I tend to get talked over in those moments too by a simultaneous question that invariably becomes the dominant one. And, pathetically, I usually feel relief not annoyance about it - as it feels like I was saved from myself. 

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  • in reply to Han

    I know that feeling. Even with the two friends who’ve stayed the course with me longest, I can sense when we meet over a meal their slight irritation when I try to replicate their more naturally innate ability to initiate a new topic in the conversation. Somehow I nearly always mistime it or choose something not quite right, or that covers ground already felt adequately mined, etc. I tend to get talked over in those moments too by a simultaneous question that invariably becomes the dominant one. And, pathetically, I usually feel relief not annoyance about it - as it feels like I was saved from myself. 

Children