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How challenging is small talk for you?

Steven

I think people might describe me as being well-mannered. Though I try to be, it's not the flattering opinion it might seem but, instead, testament to my restricted behaviour in company - I have to follow conversational conventions, and politeness is such a convention. 

If someone asks "How are you?", then I can answer briefly or (far too) extensively; both might be viewed as autistic habits. None of this means I'm at ease in conversations, as cues and subtleties don't always make their presences felt. Most importantly, I have to remind myself to ask "And how are you?" in return; not because I don't care but because *making the conversational transition is a hard, slow process for me and doesn't spring to my mind immediately*. And all the while I'm conscious that mine is a limited life, one which limits fluent and interesting conversation. 

How difficult or easy do you find small talk and general conversation?

Parents

  • Maybe we should say what we are thinking. After all, we are free to express ourselves our way. It's our planet too - we all belong here! It's not like we have to conform to some "approved means of communication" known as chit-chat. Perhaps we should tell people, in a nice way of course, that we prefer talking about things we find meaningful. Perhaps then we could ask what they find menaingful and have a proper conversation which could lead to friendship. Maybe this would be a nice way to steer the person onto common ground, rather than talking about how bad the traffic was and how long it took to get through the lights.

Reply

  • Maybe we should say what we are thinking. After all, we are free to express ourselves our way. It's our planet too - we all belong here! It's not like we have to conform to some "approved means of communication" known as chit-chat. Perhaps we should tell people, in a nice way of course, that we prefer talking about things we find meaningful. Perhaps then we could ask what they find menaingful and have a proper conversation which could lead to friendship. Maybe this would be a nice way to steer the person onto common ground, rather than talking about how bad the traffic was and how long it took to get through the lights.

Children
  • in reply to processing...

    Your utopian aspirations are laudable....but in my experience...rarely meet with success.  It would be nice to navigate to common ground with other humans (or at least be able to discuss uncommon ground without undue tensions) but I note an increasing inability, or unwillingness to do so - irrespective of one's chosen or assigned designation as NT or ND.  This is saddening to me.

    Today, the best conversations I have had are with animals who "talk" with such honesty, acceptance and clarity that it restores my faith in the world of sentience.

    Number.