How challenging is small talk for you?

I think people might describe me as being well-mannered. Though I try to be, it's not the flattering opinion it might seem but, instead, testament to my restricted behaviour in company - I have to follow conversational conventions, and politeness is such a convention. 

If someone asks "How are you?", then I can answer briefly or (far too) extensively; both might be viewed as autistic habits. None of this means I'm at ease in conversations, as cues and subtleties don't always make their presences felt. Most importantly, I have to remind myself to ask "And how are you?" in return; not because I don't care but because *making the conversational transition is a hard, slow process for me and doesn't spring to my mind immediately*. And all the while I'm conscious that mine is a limited life, one which limits fluent and interesting conversation. 

How difficult or easy do you find small talk and general conversation?

Parents
  • I don't really get small talk.  I mean there's only so long you can talk about nothing for. 

    However, if the other person is chatty and has some topics of conversation in mind then, personally, I don't find this to be an issue as I'm happy to let them talk and I can work out follow up questions if needed.  I'm pretty interested in people really so it's OK, is that unusual?

    If it's all on me and they are quiet too then it's obviously much more difficult to get a conversation going.  

    As I say a lot when I post on this forum, for context, I don't know if I'm autistic but am waiting for assessment and I enjoy this forum so continue to post on it at the moment.

Reply
  • I don't really get small talk.  I mean there's only so long you can talk about nothing for. 

    However, if the other person is chatty and has some topics of conversation in mind then, personally, I don't find this to be an issue as I'm happy to let them talk and I can work out follow up questions if needed.  I'm pretty interested in people really so it's OK, is that unusual?

    If it's all on me and they are quiet too then it's obviously much more difficult to get a conversation going.  

    As I say a lot when I post on this forum, for context, I don't know if I'm autistic but am waiting for assessment and I enjoy this forum so continue to post on it at the moment.

Children
  • It shouldn't be all on you.  This idea has been with me for such a long time and you end up busting a gut and it's tiring. Interactions work both ways. The problem I've had before is I cannot see if someone doesn't want to talk. I'm naturally a quiet person although I like being around people. I cannot often tell if a situation is awkward or not so end up gabbing on even if the other person doesn't want to. Now I'm a bit more relaxed about it. I'l give a bit and if they want to talk they can.

  • I'm pretty interested in people really so it's OK, is that unusual?

    I find people fascinating so not to me, no lol

    I like finding out what they think and why, I guess because different is interesting to me. I may also be collecting knowledge for future situations, I don't know. I do know that talking to people is important for me when I'm facing a difficult situation, almost like I'm asking them how they would feel so I can decide if I feel like that too.