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How challenging is small talk for you?

Steven

I think people might describe me as being well-mannered. Though I try to be, it's not the flattering opinion it might seem but, instead, testament to my restricted behaviour in company - I have to follow conversational conventions, and politeness is such a convention. 

If someone asks "How are you?", then I can answer briefly or (far too) extensively; both might be viewed as autistic habits. None of this means I'm at ease in conversations, as cues and subtleties don't always make their presences felt. Most importantly, I have to remind myself to ask "And how are you?" in return; not because I don't care but because *making the conversational transition is a hard, slow process for me and doesn't spring to my mind immediately*. And all the while I'm conscious that mine is a limited life, one which limits fluent and interesting conversation. 

How difficult or easy do you find small talk and general conversation?

Parents

  • I am rubbish at any type of conversation, unless it is fully scripted and rehearsed in advance. Of course rehearsing and scripting depends on knowing what the other person is going to say. As you can imagine it rarely goes to plan beyond the first sentence.

    My brain takes ages to process something that is said to me. I've only recently realised that I memorise what people say and replay that 'recording' back to myself in my head until my brain can try and process it. I then miss what is said next, as I'm still replaying the previous comment. Some of those 'recordings' are still stuck in my head years later.

    I also have unreliable speech, whereby when I do manage to say something it isn't necessarily what I intended to say or what is appropriate to the conversation.

    I would prefer to not communicate verbally at all, for the remainder of my time on this planet. It requires so much mental effort that I just don't have the energy anymore. If I haven't got the hang of conversation by this stage in my life then I doubt I ever will.

    I hope it is ok to quote from the profile of the much missed Luna. I'm sorry that I did not read it while she was alive, as I resonate with her words so much. It explains how conversation is far better than I ever could:

    "I’m not good at being social, it’s like my brain freezes and doesn’t know what to do and I just stand there, staring at my hands, my feet, a leaf blowing through the air... trying desperately to think of something to say. But no words ever come. Well, some do, like ok, thanks, yeah, sure... Not a great conversation carrier right."

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  • I am rubbish at any type of conversation, unless it is fully scripted and rehearsed in advance. Of course rehearsing and scripting depends on knowing what the other person is going to say. As you can imagine it rarely goes to plan beyond the first sentence.

    My brain takes ages to process something that is said to me. I've only recently realised that I memorise what people say and replay that 'recording' back to myself in my head until my brain can try and process it. I then miss what is said next, as I'm still replaying the previous comment. Some of those 'recordings' are still stuck in my head years later.

    I also have unreliable speech, whereby when I do manage to say something it isn't necessarily what I intended to say or what is appropriate to the conversation.

    I would prefer to not communicate verbally at all, for the remainder of my time on this planet. It requires so much mental effort that I just don't have the energy anymore. If I haven't got the hang of conversation by this stage in my life then I doubt I ever will.

    I hope it is ok to quote from the profile of the much missed Luna. I'm sorry that I did not read it while she was alive, as I resonate with her words so much. It explains how conversation is far better than I ever could:

    "I’m not good at being social, it’s like my brain freezes and doesn’t know what to do and I just stand there, staring at my hands, my feet, a leaf blowing through the air... trying desperately to think of something to say. But no words ever come. Well, some do, like ok, thanks, yeah, sure... Not a great conversation carrier right."

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