How challenging is small talk for you?

I think people might describe me as being well-mannered. Though I try to be, it's not the flattering opinion it might seem but, instead, testament to my restricted behaviour in company - I have to follow conversational conventions, and politeness is such a convention. 

If someone asks "How are you?", then I can answer briefly or (far too) extensively; both might be viewed as autistic habits. None of this means I'm at ease in conversations, as cues and subtleties don't always make their presences felt. Most importantly, I have to remind myself to ask "And how are you?" in return; not because I don't care but because *making the conversational transition is a hard, slow process for me and doesn't spring to my mind immediately*. And all the while I'm conscious that mine is a limited life, one which limits fluent and interesting conversation. 

How difficult or easy do you find small talk and general conversation?

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  • Small talk is one of the hardest things I try to navigate, it’s absolutely draining, I can script most of it and have learnt by watching others how to act. If I’ve been out with my wife and have to chat with anyone, I will normally not be able to talk for the rest of the night. We went to the village pub on Friday early evening, a person of about my age has started chatting over the last few weeks. I came out with, “ I’m quite happy to talk to you and that’s all, I don’t want you coming to my house for dinner.” No point in giving someone expectations I can’t keep up with. Chris Packham explained well with Flo, the whole, “ hi how are you?” It’s a dance I find is pointless, I sometimes think to myself, “Do you really want to know what’s going on in my head at the moment? I think not. Sorry not feeling good today.

  • sometimes think to myself, “Do you really want to know what’s going on in my head at the moment? I think not.

    Oh yes....when I get quiet......although I;m probably a bit more Jack Nicolas about it ie "You think you want the truth about what I am thinking about - YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH."  Often, I have profound trouble keeping up with what my mind is doing - and why ! 

  • Yes, a few good men 

    have profound trouble keeping up with what my mind is doing

    That is half the problem, I’m trying to keep up with the conversation, at the same time my brain is somewhere else and thinking about something totally different. What Steven said about the weather conversations, that’s when I start to scream inside. 

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