Published on 12, July, 2020
I’ve noticed as a single adult (27) in a flat share, I stay in my room all weekend sometimes after working full-time all week. For example this weekend I work up at 9am on Saturday and lay in bed watching Once Upon A Time and cleaning my (very cluttered and messy) room and doing a house cleaning task once an hour, and today I lay I bed all day watching Tik Toks and watching Once Upon A Time. I also ordered take out five times. I do not do this every weekend, but do any autistic adults find they feel so flat sometimes once every fortnight or month that they get really lazy and tired; because it feels like their energy has been drained by the stress of being around strangers? I even avoid my flat mates because if feel like living with strangers drains me almost. I meant to work on projects all weekend, cook my own meals, and get out for a picnic and did not.
Hi- I relate to this a lot- I would work super hard and long hours during the week (and on weekend too sometimes) and then whenever I had a day off, I would feel physically ill from exhaustion and be incapable of doing almost anything... It's frustrating because I feel almost worse then and don't have the energy to do anything fun (and also don't really have a hobby I like at present). If I'm in that state I don't have the energy to go for coffee with a friend either ... socialising does take energy and when I am so exhausted there is just not enough energy left for that.
In terms of flat-sharing, I can relate to that too- I used to flatshare too and I luckily have my own place now and it is such a relief... and I don't think I could cope with sharing again... it's a two way thing too- I have some weird habits- sometimes I get hungry at night and want to use the kitchen then or I work odd hours ... but when flat sharing I would always feel bad doing this and avoid it or if I had to it would be super stressful... And the constant drain of possibly having to deal with other people... it was such a relief when I finally had my own space...
I think you need to be kind to yourself- i can see that it feels frustrating that you didn't have the energy to work on projects, cook and go for the picnic... but it sounds like you just didn't have the energy.
I think maybe it would be important though to look at your work and schedule during the week because being so exhausted on weekend suggests that it is taking a toll on you. Is there anything you could do to reduce the amount of energy your working week saps from you? Because you deserve to have energy for other things too. I sadly haven't figured this out myself but I am just concerned these could be warning signs that you might be heading for burnout... because that is what it was like for me. I would be so so exhausted every time I had a day off but then I would just pull myself together and put even more energy into my work as it made me feel more 'useful' and productive and temporarily woke me up.... but after doing that for a long time I am now severely burnt-out.
And if you feel like you need to rest a lot on weekend and just feel like lying in bed and relaxing and watching things, please give yourself the rest you need with no guilt!! You need it!
I hope that maybe you find a way to make your week less draining so that you do have the energy in the future to do the activities you would like to do on the weekend!
In terms of not cooking, I think that is perfectly fine too. I am actually at the moment living pretty much only off ready meals (I try to go for the healthier options mostly- there is so so much choice)- I felt really bad about this and kept putting pressure on myself to try and cook but my dietitian helped to abate those worries somewhat- She said that it is perfectly possible to have a healthy diet without cooking and agreed that I just do not have the energy or capacity for cooking at this point and should stop worrying about it.
Yeah, long work hours during the week are difficult. Did you work more than 8 hours a day? I usually work for 8 hours a day only, in customer service, but I think with other jobs you sometimes go over your shift limit, for example as a teacher or a lawyer. I hope you felt okay, and that you don’t feel physically ill anymore, I feel worse too during the day when I start to get exhausted by work, or by school as a kid and teenager.
I wonder if my burn out is to do with just feeling anxious around other people because of executive functioning, like I feel like a hamster on a wheel trying to catch up to everyone’s level.
When I’m around people I feel happy around like my mum or my brother; or when it’s Christmas holidays I am far more relaxed, and when I’m less busy I have healthier mental health. Stressors burn me out a lot.
I hope you’re having a lovely Monday :)
Thanks- Yes I did regularly work more than 8 hours for a while, and 1-2 days at weekends too... though recently it has been quieter and I have had days with far less than 8 hours but I am just so burntout, everything is too much... But at least I have some flexibility in terms of hours. And I am actually from today on sick leave as I just couldn't cope anymore.
Working in customer service sounds hard as I presume you will have to be around people all day?
I hope you get some more time to relax :) Have a good day!!
Thanks :)