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Unmasking

Bearer1976

I'm 46 year ols male and I have been all my life. I knew that but I didn't any one else did. I go to a support group and the lady who runs it (Indapendace trust support group) said What everything you said it sounds like you been masking along time.

I rarely take it off,partly because I don't know how to. When I do I some times I can't funny looks. 

How does everyone else cope living in a nonautisic world who don't really have a clue what it like,unless you have it your self and accept it. I say accept it as you can run away from those who are like you because they can't deal with it.

Parents

  • To be honest, I don’t unmask in front of the outside world or my family. The only person who ever sees the real me is my wife. I’m not much older than you, I have learnt how to holdback meltdowns until I’m alone or turn them into shutdowns. People who even know you are autistic don’t really want to see the real autistic person, it’s not the person they know. I do have a job where I’m alone all day everyday, I do get to be me then, I’ve only let the mask slip in front of two people, they turned out to both be autistic and had kept their diagnosis private. I don’t have a massive amount of contact with people, it’s easier just to,  ‘ wave and smile’, the time on my own then offsets that. Sorry I can’t be more helpful.

Reply

  • To be honest, I don’t unmask in front of the outside world or my family. The only person who ever sees the real me is my wife. I’m not much older than you, I have learnt how to holdback meltdowns until I’m alone or turn them into shutdowns. People who even know you are autistic don’t really want to see the real autistic person, it’s not the person they know. I do have a job where I’m alone all day everyday, I do get to be me then, I’ve only let the mask slip in front of two people, they turned out to both be autistic and had kept their diagnosis private. I don’t have a massive amount of contact with people, it’s easier just to,  ‘ wave and smile’, the time on my own then offsets that. Sorry I can’t be more helpful.

Children
  • in reply to Roy

    My partner won't even think about the fact I could be, she won't entertain the idea as it doest fit into her idea of what autistic poeple are like. As you said there afried. I worked it out for my self over years of self study and having ex partners or friends with autistic children. They seemed a lot like me. 

    The only time I relax is when I'm on my own. Partly when I'm with my partner and partly with the support group I'm apart of. There's to many poeple there for me though, there all autistic which helps.

    You have alot alot thanks. 

    Just wish my partner could accept the real me.