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Unmasking

Bearer1976

I'm 46 year ols male and I have been all my life. I knew that but I didn't any one else did. I go to a support group and the lady who runs it (Indapendace trust support group) said What everything you said it sounds like you been masking along time.

I rarely take it off,partly because I don't know how to. When I do I some times I can't funny looks. 

How does everyone else cope living in a nonautisic world who don't really have a clue what it like,unless you have it your self and accept it. I say accept it as you can run away from those who are like you because they can't deal with it.

Parents

  •  I don't know. I don't really cope at the moment. It can be very confusing and stressful, especially when people don't say what they mean... In terms, taking off the mask, I can relate to not actually knowing who you are without a mask or how to take it off... I wondered about that a lot too. I think the first step is to actually be around people you are comfortable with (probably easiest with other neurodivergent people)- in a safe space and around likeminded people, it is easier to try and be yourself ... I also wish I could be myself more (and that I knew what that was) and that the world and its demands didn't exhaust me so much... Like you point out though, in certain situations taking off the mask can be risky. My aim though is to try and be myself and without a mask as much as I can... but it is hard and there are probably environments/situations where unmasking is not so safe or wise... I think my aim is really to try to maximise the time that I spend in environments that are good for me and that I can feel safe and myself in ... it's not always possible to control external factors but I am realising more and more that sometimes we can take steps to change our surroundings and situation rather than having to hide ourselves.

Reply

  •  I don't know. I don't really cope at the moment. It can be very confusing and stressful, especially when people don't say what they mean... In terms, taking off the mask, I can relate to not actually knowing who you are without a mask or how to take it off... I wondered about that a lot too. I think the first step is to actually be around people you are comfortable with (probably easiest with other neurodivergent people)- in a safe space and around likeminded people, it is easier to try and be yourself ... I also wish I could be myself more (and that I knew what that was) and that the world and its demands didn't exhaust me so much... Like you point out though, in certain situations taking off the mask can be risky. My aim though is to try and be myself and without a mask as much as I can... but it is hard and there are probably environments/situations where unmasking is not so safe or wise... I think my aim is really to try to maximise the time that I spend in environments that are good for me and that I can feel safe and myself in ... it's not always possible to control external factors but I am realising more and more that sometimes we can take steps to change our surroundings and situation rather than having to hide ourselves.

Children
  • in reply to Ann :)

    I don't remember much from my child hood but one thing I do remember is star wars. 

    I have books on my phone so I can tune out,when I'm on the bus or at home.

    Only poeple I can be mg self with is my dad and the group I go to. 

    I rarly take my mask down at home, as I can see what will happen if I do and from past expiance it normally makes it worse.

    It's normally when I'm alone then I take it down. 

    Ether way it's exhausting.