Embarrassment following meltdown

This morning I went  to the opticians for the first time in years. It was all a bit much. Massive sensory overload to start my day with.

One thing then happened out of the order I was expecting it to at home when I got back and I lost my temper with myself. It all happens so fast in those moments.

Now I’m sporting a bruised forehead and nursing myself through the embarrassment of not handling a normal mundane interaction yet again. I’d love to not do this to myself anymore, but it catches me by surprise every time.

In hindsight, I probably should have seen if there were any adaptations that could have been made for me, but I convinced myself not to once again. 

Not looking for anything in particular by posting this, just trying to move away from the incident positively rather than dwelling on it and thought writing about it might help me to do that.

Parents
  • I usually find that writing helps and I hope you're feeling better. 

    I know that it's hard to ask for stuff.  I'm no better.  I've spent my life with a fawn response, just do what people tell me, swallow my pain and get on with it.  And I'm starting to feel how much that's taking a toll. 

    I've got to meet with someone at work soon to go through my diagnosis and see if there are any helpful adjustments and I don't know what to ask for.  

    Now I'm having a bit of a ramble.

  • I think it did help a bit. I must admit, I’m sort of dwelling on it now, but hopefully will move on in time.

    I do need to learn to ask more, but that will be an aim for the future. Now it’s just about recovery and getting out of this slump I’m now in.

    I do hope your meeting goes well. I have recently gone through that process and have access to a quiet space at work to either do admin tasks in or to de-escalate in if needed. I also have a few different forms of hearing protection available for different periods of the day too. If that helps give you ideas at all. 

  • Oh and rambles are always welcome where I’m concerned

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