Relationship counselling that doesn't cost the earth?!

Look at it this way Morgie, if your husband was e.g. exceptionally clumsy and it irritated you because he broke things or whatever, if you found out he had a condition or illness that made him clumsy would you not lose the irritation and have a lot more understanding and sympathy with him?  Asperger's is no different.

My husband has not been diagnosed (and isn't sure yet if he wants to be), and I am struggling to understand what I can do to help him. He had never even considered that he could possibly have Aspergers until rescently. So it has been a big shock to him, I was not surprised when he told me the results he had got on an online ASD test though. I have talked to him about how he feels, and he has opened up to me lately, much more than he ever has done, but other than listening and trying to be supportive, I feel and (from our conversation last night) so does he, that I should be doing more to accomodate his behaviour. Previously I had put it down to being arrogant and at times uncaring. It is difficult to change the way I respond to him, even though I am now aware of what may be causing his behaviour. 

Hi

Dual Diagnosis is quite common with people with Asperger's syndrome but make sure the person he sees has some experience with Autism because I think that really helps.  It took me ages to find someone who knew what to make of my autism.

Can u tell me where u live bcos I see my therapist once a month. She charges £70 a session. I've made progress but it's recommended to go once a week (I can't quite afford that!)  But she deals with a lot of autistic people and she does know her stuff.  I have been to at least half a dozen therapists and she has been the best one.

Have you tried the workbook? It might be a bit more useful than Asperger's in Love?

And maybe he can try going on this website and writing about his expereinces?  Or to get to grips with everyday life? 

But the fact that ur boyfriend has someone warm and loving in their life will help accelerate his progress by a factor of 10.

Thank you Cary Grant, that's helpful. I'll try relate if it's a sliding scale, we might have some chance of affording it then!! My partner is already looking at getting individual therapy as he suffers from anxiety and depression, and that he can get on the NHS.

I've actually read Aspergers in love, which was helpful for understanding but not so much for practical how to fix its!

And never fear, I'm hugely affectionate, and given that my partner is only mildly aspergic, he's still quite affectionate :)

Hi there

I remember when I started therapy many moons ago I used Relate. And they operate on a sliding scale of how much you earn

www.relate.org.uk/.../index.html

I would speak to you boyfriend about individual therapy too. It has been immensely helpful for me.

Have you heard of someone named Maxine Aston? She is a counsellor who specialises with couples where one person has Aspergers.  She has written several books on the subject including

The Other Half of Asperger's Syndrome

The Asperger's Couple's Workbook

Asperger's in Love

And I remember the last person I was with the affection she gave me was like a drug that made everything seem better.  But I know some people have different tolerances for touch than others.

Please let us know how you get on.

Is this something you can get on the NHS?