help my son cnt control his anger

The how and when of telling your child about their diagnosis is a difficult one. I hope sharing my experience of telling our son may help you.

My son's diagnosis of high functioning autism came through when he was eight years old, and at the time we didn't feel ready to tell him of his diagnosis. We started the statutory assessment process soon after and as part of this he had a number of assessments. As he'd already seen LOTS of specialists previously it was just same old same old for him. However, at the medical assessment the doctor was clearly on the verge of saying the words 'autism' and somehow I stopped her. At that point I reaslied that the more we asked for help the more likely it was that a professional was going to end up blurting out our son's diagnosis to him and not us, and we had to avoid that happening.

We didn't know how to do it. What to say? Do you sit him down all serious and say you have a life-long condition? Do you mention it in passing? 

I called the NAS Helpline and spoke to a lovely lady who was very understanding of our wish to be honest with our son, but not to scare him or upset him. She sent us some leaflets and my husband and I planned out what we wanted to say - balancing the negatives of his diagnosis (eg, you do have problems with your English lessons at school and you do have problems with making and keeping friends) with the positives (eg, with the diagnosis we can get you more help in school to overcome these problems you are having). But we still kept putting it off.

One day, when he was nine, we were at a family party and it was all a bit too much for him, so my husband took him off for a walk away from the noise. When he came back my husband said he'd told my son about his diagnosis. It just felt like the right time. He started off by mentioning a friend of my son who had a diagnosis of autism and the ways in which we'd all noticed and understood that this child was different to the other boys in his class. He then explained that my son had the same diagnosis, and it just flowed from there. 

My son is now 15 and has always been fully accepting of his diagnosis. We reguarly have conversations about the positives and the negatives, and comparing how the diagnosis manifests differently in different people.

I guess what I'm saying is that there is no right or wrong way to do it. You know your son best and therefore will tell him in the right way for him.

I hope telling my experience has helped you a little bit.

The how and when of telling your child about their diagnosis is a difficult one. I hope sharing my experience of telling our son may help you.

My son's diagnosis of high functioning autism came through when he was eight years old, and at the time we didn't feel ready to tell him of his diagnosis. We started the statutory assessment process soon after and as part of this he had a number of assessments. As he'd already seen LOTS of specialists previously it was just same old same old for him. However, at the medical assessment the doctor was clearly on the verge of saying the words 'autism' and somehow I stopped her. At that point I reaslied that the more we asked for help the more likely it was that a professional was going to end up blurting out our son's diagnosis to him and not us, and we had to avoid that happening.

We didn't know how to do it. What to say? Do you sit him down all serious and say you have a life-long condition? Do you mention it in passing? 

I called the NAS Helpline and spoke to a lovely lady who was very understanding of our wish to be honest with our son, but not to scare him or upset him. She sent us some leaflets and my husband and I planned out what we wanted to say - balancing the negatives of his diagnosis (eg, you do have problems with your English lessons at school and you do have problems with making and keeping friends) with the positives (eg, with the diagnosis we can get you more help in school to overcome these problems you are having). But we still kept putting it off.

One day, when he was nine, we were at a family party and it was all a bit too much for him, so my husband took him off for a walk away from the noise. When he came back my husband said he'd told my son about his diagnosis. It just felt like the right time. He started off by mentioning a friend of my son who had a diagnosis of autism and the ways in which we'd all noticed and understood that this child was different to the other boys in his class. He then explained that my son had the same diagnosis, and it just flowed from there. 

My son is now 15 and has always been fully accepting of his diagnosis. We reguarly have conversations about the positives and the negatives, and comparing how the diagnosis manifests differently in different people.

I guess what I'm saying is that there is no right or wrong way to do it. You know your son best and therefore will tell him in the right way for him.

I hope telling my experience has helped you a little bit.