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Feeling bad :-(

Jon

Hi,

I have been on this forum now for over a year. I used to look forwards to being on here - it was a support and I enjoyed the communication.

I don't feel the same way about it now. I don't want to make it personal but I got pretty bothered by the attitude of another member. It wasn't pleasant.

I am struggling with my return to work after 5 months off with stress/depression. I am struggling at home with the neighbours (noise :(). Life is just seeming very difficult right now. I don't have a place to recharge and situations that I was begining to manage are now seeming much harder.

I admit I find confrontation and negotiation hard and thats why I used to like coming on here - because it felt safe and people maybe understood.

The world is at odds with Aspergers. Its all about me changing and adapting to match peoples expectations. That does become a real strain. It is expected that I have to learn to be NT or at least act it.

Please don't respond to this if you are just going to criticise me - I can't handle that just now. I do feel better for getting this posted though.

  • I have had enough too. It doesn't feel the safe place to be with others like me that I would like.  I have probably given all the help I can anyway - if people ever use search.

  • Hi Jon,

    Sorry to read about your experience. If you'd like to discuss it further with Alex and I, please drop us a line on communitymanager@nas.org.uk. If you do decide to leave, you'd be welcome to rejoin at any time.

     


    take care,
    Anil 

  • I think, we must be careful not to project our insecures onto situations and other people, I find it just makes the insecure worse long-term.

  • I think the thing to remember is that almost everyone here, be they parents, carers, or people on the spectrum are under one form of stress or another.

    Combine that with the fact that many people on the spectrum have the tendency to be blunt, and very direct, in their manner of communicating, and problems such as those that crop up from time to time are inevitable.

    I would be sad to see anyone leave the forums, but particularly yourself, Jon.

  • I too hope you can stay Jon as I would miss you. There are one or two people whose posts I avoid reading as I cannot cope with confontation either, and I am not going through the stress you are at the moment.  I do hopeyour return to work goes well and would like to know how it goes and for you to feel that you can discuss any problems you are finding here.

    I try to be tolerant of people "sounding-off" because I know some people are under tremendous pressure and want somewhere to let off steam, but critisisms directed at individuals are unacceptable and should be pulled by the moderators - that's the point of having modertors.

  • Jon, I know exactly how you feel as it happened to me on another forum.

    Aspies are prone to all the same human foibles and faults as NTs, and in fact, by our natures we can be worse at them than NTs due to traits like low empathy, bossiness, obsessiveness, wanting our own way and only seeing our own viewpoint.

    It came as a shock when it happened to me too, as I thought the one place I would be safe was amongst fellow Aspies.  Although I don't know what happened in your own situation and whether it was NT members of other Aspies of course.

    The best thing is to  take a time out and come back when the feelings have dulled a bit.

    It is difficult to think you have found your haven, the one place where you believe you won't suffer the same things you do in general society, and  then find out that this is not actually the case.

    Regarding neighbour's noise, I sympathise because I have this too.  It's very, very difficult living with this.