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Issues with school

NAS82689

So my daughter is 7 and is awaiting asd and adhd diagnosis and has learning disability, she’s currently in a mainstream school and I’ve recently become aware that her class teacher is shouting at her when she lacks concentration in class. My daughter struggles greatly with emotion regulation and becomes inconsolable if an adult show’s disappointment which the school and class teacher know, now my daughter is refusing to go to school, she cries and screams she doesn’t want to go. I’ve spoken to the teacher and her response was “well I can’t not tell her off “ to which I asked could she try a different method because now my daughter is shutting down at school and home I fear it’s causing more harm than good and the teacher doesn’t seem to give a crap, I feel like the school should be more willing to help or try something different am I asking too much ? I feel they shouldn’t be treating a child with disabilities this way ? Does anybody know if this is right or have any help / advice please I can’t stand to see my daughter so distraught. 

  • in reply to NAS66534

    Schools have become Warzones; especially the Playgrounds.

    It's the building of the Empire.

  • There’s no getting around it, school is not designed for autistic people. It’s hell and horrible and I wish I’d not been made to go. Home education is very hard on the parents though so you really can’t win.

  • in reply to Kate Kestrel

    Thank you I have tried to speak to the school but don’t get anywhere there quite happy collecting the money for a Sen child but don’t want to actually look after them Face palm tone1‍ 

  • in reply to NAS82693

    Hi, I am really sorry to hear that and I have been there before (in short we ended up changing school asap). First you need to talk to the director of the school to see whether he/she backs up the teacher or not, and if he is willing to recognize the problem from the school's side and put a solution in place (changing class, adding a person, mentoring the teacher etc..). Some schools are actually bullying parents to get rid of them and to do so they put extra stress on us so that we resign. Keep all communications via emails in case you need proofs.  

  • My son is 12 he has ASD and ADHD he refuses to go to school now the school are saying we will soon be getting fines, it's stressing me out 

  • Ok - this is absolutely NOT right and you have every right to raise this with the school. It’s a shame you don’t actually have a diagnosis for her yet as that would help in terms of your dialogue with the school. If she’s been referred for assessment though it should be enough for you to argue that your daughter requires adjustments for her needs. No wonder she’s upset and scared - poor little thing. I’m sorry - it must be awful for both of you to be dealing with this insensitive and frankly clueless teacher. 
    If I were you I would put your concerns in writing and send the letter/email to the Headmaster. The best thing is to keep all communications with the school calm, measured and backed up by evidence wherever you can. Having things in writing is a good idea. Personally I think a teacher shouting is a sign that they lack control - it’s not a good sign. But either way if the Teacher’s ‘methods’ are making your daughter so distressed that she’s reaching a point of school refusal then that’s extremely serious and needs to be properly addressed by the school. 

    Your daughter deserves a calm classroom environment where she feels safe and respected - and it doesn’t sound like she has this at the moment. How can she learn in class when she’s frightened and stressed? It’s just not acceptable. I hope they take your concerns on board. Keep your relationship with the school as positive as you can though because if that relationship breaks down it’s very difficult. So be calm, polite but also firm, and keep a written record of your communications with them. Good luck.